FACT: The world is long over due for a ZOMBIE attack.
In fact it has been over 4.5 Billion years... This means that any day a massive break out of ZOMBIES could happen. ARE YOU PREPARED?
Step one: A fantastic list of supplies needed for your bunker: ZOMBIE PREP ESSENTIALS
Be sure that all items are safely stored to protect from fire, wind, water, laser beams, alien bounty hunters, and homeless vagrancy. Also procure in cold hard cash as you do not want the FEDs to know what you are up to. More then half of zombie outbreaks are caused by the government and while it is unknown what portion of the brain is accessible once a person has been turned, it is best not to chance it.
Step two: Buy this book and read it cover to cover. Be sure to study it like a text book. It is probably the most comprehensive manual on the subject
Zombie Survival Guide
Then read this book and learn all the moves by heart: Zombie Combat Manual
FACT: Bicycles are good form of transportation in case of zombie outbreak because they can be used as melee weapons. FACT PART TWO: It is well known that if you place playing cards in the spokes the noise that is produced strikes fear and confusion in the hearts of zombie mobs. This could provide valuable insentives
Everything mentioned above will get you started but the real defense to zombie attack is going vegan. It is a well known fact that zombies can not see or smell vegans. I know what you are thinking... maybe I will just wait until zombie outbreak, then give up all Animal products and bingo bango boingo. WRONG MY FRIEND. It takes at least 4 months of Vegan cleanse in order to rid your body of all animal celluloid nimbus particles that saturate your skin from animal products.
Protect your family, save the world: GO VEGAN.
I have compiled the following list of Vegan Starter reading to help you along the way.
VEGAN MOFOs
May the VEGAN FORCE be with you.
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