This morning I had the privilege of driving to a vendor that we have down in the LA area to drop off some parts that we need to have worked ASAP. On my drive I started thinking about people talking about other people behind their backs. It could be anything from mindless gossip to flat out character assassination. In particular I was thinking about it in the context of office politics. I was thinking about how disgusting and pathetic it is. I was then obviously drawn to all the times (especially recent times) of my part participating in slandering someone else when they were not present to defend themselves. And regardless of if there was truth in what I was saying about someone else or in what people say about others when they speak ill of them behind their backs there by hurting their reputation, something I heard not too long ago was resonating with me.
When ever some one partakes in character assassination or gossip it is never (not ever ever ever) to tear that person down but rather to build themselves up. And it is a very easy accessibly way for the EGO to try to prop itself up a little bit. The real problem here though is that even though temporary relief often come while engaging in this behavior, it is short lived and after the moment has passed you are still there with yourself.
Looking back in the recent examples in my life how true this resonates. Whenever I am speaking ill of someone, regardless if there is truth in what I am saying or not, what I am really doing is compensating for some inadequacy and sure enough after the short lived benefit wears out there I am left with myself.
So on the flip side, when people are talking about me behind my back it has NOTHING to do with me it has to do with them. Its their business how they feel about me not mine. I can not control what anyone else says or does. Its my business how I feel about you NOT the other way around and the more I realize that the things I don't like about you are generally b/c I feel threatened or less then or any number of fears that may be running through my mind at any particular moment, the more free I am to accept and love you just the way you are. I've heard one of my more religious friends say it like this: "if one of us is Gods kids, then all of us are".
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Notice the title of the post read 'on my morning drive". Not too long ago it would have said "on my morning ride"... *sigh* hopefully I will start riding again soon and not just into work, but actually ride as in make an attempt at building some sort of cycling fitness and actually racing some cat 2 races. But alas for now it is Yoga, and running/ hiking with Blue. Having a puppy is sort of like having a kid (not that I am even attempting to claim I know anything about that, but I can imagine). But I have grown very very found of Blue Dog... Man he is cool... Man's best friend right?
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So it has been a week since I have logged onto face book and to be honest I have not missed it in the slightest this experiment has gone so well that I will continue for another week. I also went the whole weekend with out email (although I did have to check work email several times to resolve a few issues). That also went well. I am going to carry on with out personal email until Friday and then try to only check and respond to personal email 3 times a week at designated times. That way it does not become something that consumes my life and steals away my solitude or presence 2 to 3 minutes at a time.
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"And the sheen of their spears was like stars on the sea,
When the blue wave rolls nightly on deep Galilee."
When the blue wave rolls nightly on deep Galilee."
--LT Byron
1 comment:
Chester-I'm taking a break from riding right now, too. I must admit, I had begun to lose perspective on other things when I was really serious about riding all the time. Sure, I was fast, but I was missing out on all the kayaking, running, playing with dogs, cooking, gym classes, walks on the beach, hanging out with friends... A more balanced approach has left me happy, and while I do still ride, I do it without worry about how fast I am or am not. I know I'm not fast anymore, but I feel good, and I am happy. Sounds like you are finding that place for yourself. Good job, and good luck!
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