There is no Bicycle

Looking forward to the first races of the Season

2012-01-25T07:43:00.000-08:00

The team has changed a lot this year with many of the P 12 guys moving on to different Elite Masters team over southern California. I stuck with Platinum with my main commitment to the Mountain bike side of things. But as much as I have grown to love mountain biking, I think I am a road racer at heart.
Most of the guys on the road side are motivate Cat 3's who are pretty dedicated to racing. Many of them will be in the 2's before this season is over, but in the mean time it is slim pickings in the team mate arena.

My form is coming along, helped by more consistent training, a lot of time in the hills, and longer weekend rides. I still don't have much of a top end and endurance is weak. Regardless, I am excited to race PKCRR this Sat and then Mothballs the next day. The game plan for most races is to keep an open mind, try not to get dropped, stay focused and concentrated and come out the other side a better bike racer.

A link to the two races is below, hope to see you out there!

http://scnca.com/2012raceflyers/PCKRR.pdf

http://scnca.com/2012raceflyers/Mothballs.pdf

"I am"

2012-01-25T07:40:00.000-08:00

What are the areas in your life that you build you identity around?

Where does your sense of self come from?

I am a cat 2 bike racer?
I am a father, husband, family man?
I am a vegan?
I am liberal, conservative?
I am bousterous & sarcastic?
I am kind and loving?
I am an artist?
I am an enviromentalists?
I am a musician?
I am this way at social gatherings: shy, outgoing.

Whatever it is, it would seem that nothing that we build our sense of self is really that substantial. Speaking from my own experience I tend to identify myself and who I am by the activities I am involved in. But they change don't they? I may be a cyclist now, a fit athlete... but I could get sick tomorrow or paralyzed and then who am I? On an even deeper level I identify with "defects of character". But its all impermanent & it all changes. If I look at a photo album and find pictures of me at various stages which one am I?

"I am" tends to really get in the way of what is really happening in the present moment. It shades the present perceived reality with past and future and adds unnecessary narratives.

I am speaking more in terms of general life, but this is a cycling blog mainly so lets look at it from that perspective: If I take a simple example of riding up a hill with a group of riders and the pace gets hard. They immediately start to pull away from me and instantly:

I am so out of shape
I can't maintain this pace
I shouldn't even be out here
How can they ride so fast
There is no chance of winning
I should have just stayed home tonight
I should just give up now
Come on hang in there
You can do it.
This hurts too much

None of that is what is happening whether the narrative is positive or negative Whether I am offering encouragement or antaganism. It is all mental fabrication and all of it is getting in the way: causing suffering.
There are two outcomes: either I hang with the group or I don't and becuase of "I am". If I don't hang with the group my sense of self worth immediately will cling to that. If I do hang with the group or drop them: The Ego will kick in, or false pride.

It is a loose loose situation.

Whats important in that situation? Whats important is what its like. If thoughts of doubt arise... "Oh doubt is like this?" back to the breathe, or the sensation in the legs or whatever my present experience is.
If thoughts of success arise... "Oh, this is what the attachment looks like"

Sometimes it can be helpful to label what the mind is trying to do, or to intentional think things rather then let the mind run away.

I find that I perform best and I am happiest on the bike when I am clearest:

Pain in the legs is like this
Views and opinions are like this
The breathe is like this
Right now, awareness is like this.

But when we get down to it, its all empty space anyhow. Or at least, that's what the physicists tell us right?

Training update

2012-01-23T08:36:00.000-08:00

Slowly coming into form. Having more fun on the group rides, able to barely hang on over the climbs. Endurance slowly coming back.

Mon: Easy Spin (Still very very sore from running race)
Tues: Rest day (Bike in the shop, getting wheels rebuild)
Wed: Big gear work
Thurs: OSM Repeaters
Fri: 1 hour easy
Sat: 3.5+ hours, lake ride backwards WINDY
Sun: 3+ hours, Worlds plus Casitas climbs

Repost...

2012-01-20T08:13:00.000-08:00

The following is from a blog called vegan hope, and well worth sharing.

http://veganhope.com/2011/08/25/get-angry-go-vegan/

Get angry, go Vegan.

Posted on August 25, 2011 by natalamc

Last night I got to go the premier of the documentary “Got the Facts on Milk“. The film is fantastic and everyone needs to watch it, and send it to everyone they know. (seriously).
I get lost in my own Vegan amnesia a lot sometimes. I try to remember why I ever thought for ethical or for health reasons that using animals was EVER okay. A lot of propaganda? Addiction? Ignorance? It seems so cut and dry, so simplistic. If we were talking about an animal we all thought was a pet (like a dog) we’d be outraged.
Can you imagine if there was a news story about a farmer collecting dogs, killing the males, selling the males for their flesh, and then raping the females over and over and over again so they can produce large amounts of dairy, in order to feed another species?
We’d all be outraged, we’d be storming the gates of the farm, we’d be marching in Washington.
Things are covered up in our country, in ways that I think I am just beginning to understand. Because the truth is millions of dogs are abused, tortured and killed every year, because some sick people found out that some dogs don’t fight as much (Beagles) so they test cigarettes on them in ways that I can’t even get into, because it is too disturbing to write about. They test makeup and cleaning products on them, they test drugs on them to see the side effects of medications. But we do nothing, we do not storm the gates, we do not know, we stay silent.
If a neighbor was torturing and killing baby piglets in their backyard, anyone would be outraged, horrified and terrified. But because it is done behind closed doors, because people pay someone else to do it, and to package it up, it is all okay. People would call the police about their neighbor, but they will willingly go to a store, and buy piglet flesh because they did not have to see it or kill the pig themselves.
If someone was taking away the oxygen supply of kittens, causing them to gasp for air and suffocate so that they could sell kittens for people to eat, we’d call it horrific and barbaric. But that is what is done to millions of sea animals every single year, and people don’t think twice about it.
Our society totally gets the movie “101 dalmatians” how sick that a woman would torture, abuse beautiful dogs for her own fashion! Even kids understand that, right? But yet people will wear the flesh of cows, and the fur of another animal that was brutally tortured, and not think twice about it, all for the sake of fashion. Meanwhile, showing their kids a disney movie on why it is so bad to be so evil.
Last night I got to meet the author of the book “Why we love Dogs, eat pigs and wear cows” It is a book I highly recommend that you read.
Sometimes I wish I could go back and talk to my former self, (about a lot of things). But for now, what I want to encourage you to do more than anything, is to get angry. Stop living in the bubble that society has created, it’s not a good bubble, and we can’t make change unless we pop the bubble. I don’t know what the answer is, but I do know it all has to start somewhere, and I’m hoping that more people can start with simply getting angry, and saying “no more” don’t let it happen on your watch, and just start.

Platinum on the Run

2012-01-16T08:57:00.000-08:00

On sunday I decided to head out to the SBAA 12 mile cross country running race to toe the line with Santa Barbara running legends such as Eric Forte, Shiggy Suzuki, The Hammer and MDub.

The course was two 6 mile laps around a very challenging and hilly eling park featuring some gnarly fast open downhills, and some steep punchy climbs.

I went out a fast with the MDUB. The plan initially was to try to play it a little conservative, but I realized quickly if I wanted to have a shot at winning I would have to lay it all on the line. MDUB and I charged from the gate and got a commanding lead by the time we reached the first climb. About 4 miles into the race I started falling off the pace and in a big way. My legs were on fire and I realized that it was going to be everything I could to do to just hold it together. The Hammer and Forte passed me on the long flat section on top of Elings. They slowly began to try to close the gab to Matt, but never quite made it. He won handily in 1:22. Eric cut the course and once he realized his mistake abandoned the race and jogged home. Ben Finished around 126. Shiggy came by me on the second to last climb looking strong and fresh as different parts of my legs and body were shutting down. I held on and limped it in around 130 for a 5th place overall.

In hindsight I probably would have been better off if I had started a little more moderately (boy if I had a dollar for everytime I wrote that in a race report) but I don't think that is in my nature.

Results:

Chester Gillmore: 5th overall 1:30:36

Training Update

2012-01-15T16:15:00.000-08:00

Coming along slowly but surely... Or at least I was until I decided to run a 12 mile xc race.

Mon:
Tues:1.5 hr Lunch hammer fest + farren repeats
Wed: 2+ hrs: OSM, PC, Reapeaters
Thurs: 3- hrs: OSM, PC, ECC, Gibralter blah blah blah
Friday: Raquet ball + easy spin
Sat: 3+ hrs: Roco ride, hard on the hills (got dropped by the young guns), Hard to ventura, then split off and road SST through ventura and Oxnard etc.
Sun: SBAA Elings park XC foot race: VERY CHALLENGING 12 Mile course: I ran somewhere around 1:30. 5th overall. destroyed my legs trying to keep up with Matt running sub 5 minute pace down the hills... Probably will set my cycling training back 2 weeks recovering from this one.

The world famous Marco was there in his blue jeans taking pictures.Then I spotted him relaxing at the coffee shop.

In the words of Rumi...

2012-01-12T12:59:00.000-08:00

...In times of sudden danger most people call out, "O my God!"
Why would they keep doing this if it didn't help?
Only a fool keeps going back where nothing happens.

The whole world lives within a safeguarding, fish
inside waves, birds held in the sky, the elephant,
the wolf, the lion as he hunts, the dragon, the ant,
the waiting snake, even the ground, the air,
the water, every spark floating up from the fire,
all subsist, exist, are held in the divine. Nothing
is ever alone for a single moment.

All giving comes from There, no matter who
you think you put your open hand out
toward, it's That which gives.

-Rumi

Training

2012-01-09T06:16:00.000-08:00

Mon: 2.5 hours: Climbed the Gib, then headed to the dreaded Sea Ranch
Tues: 50 minutes easy spin to work
Wed: Run up Jesusita in AM. Big Gear intervals in HR in evening
Thursday: OSM: 16:20
Fri: Raquet ball
Sat: OSM repeaters (bad legs)
Sun: Worlds, plus torro, Romera, mtn, Gibralter (to the no shooting sign) - Need more watts

OSM

2012-01-05T13:57:00.000-08:00

16:20

It has probably been two years since I have gone up OSM sub 17.

This is for the people of the sun, we coming back around again.

There are those...

2012-01-02T18:55:00.000-08:00

There are those who prefer a nice espresso after dinner and those that do not.

Training... getting back on the steed, little by slowly

2012-01-01T20:18:00.000-08:00

Had the week off of work so tried to get some longer rides in. Sort of out of the SB cycling loop so mostly riding hills to build solid base. Marco always said that the hills were the best way to build base around SB and you can't go wrong listening to Marco.

OSM around 17:48 this week. Gonna try to get a schedule dialed in for training.

Both bikes need quite a bit of work mechanically speaking...

Sat: 2.5 hrs, Started Rocco to first pass, long way home.
Sun: 3 hrs, Griffith Park Observatory hill repeaters
Mon: Zzzzz
Tues: 1 hr, Trail run with the Blue Bear
Wed: 4 hrs, in Palm Springs, easy
Th: 3.5 hrs, OSM, WCC, ECC, OSM, blah blah blah
Fr: 40 minute run with the Thathcer man while mom got foot massage!
Sat: 4 hrs, Gib, ECC, Paradise Rd, Stage Coach Blah Blah Blah
Sun: 2.5 hrs, Worlds to Goob (Broke an axile in my front wheel, called wife and got ride to Marcos, borrowed wheel ) Rode OSM, Painted Cave, ECC, Paradise blah blah blah

ENCOURAGEMENT-- THIS MATTERS!

2011-12-27T14:47:00.001-08:00

Frome Danielle Laporte:

right now:

There are Tibetan Buddhist monks in a temple in the Himalayas endlessly reciting mantras for the cessation of your suffering and for the flourishing of your happiness.

Someone you haven't met yet is already dreaming of adoring you.

Someone is writing a book that you will read in the next two years that will change how you look at life.

Nuns in the Alps are in endless vigil, praying for the Holy Spirit toalight the hearts of all of God's children.

A farmer is looking at his organic crops and whispering, "nourish them."

Someone wants to kiss you, to hold you, to make tea for you. Someone is willing to lend you money, wants to know what your favourite food is, and treat you to a movie. Someone in your orbit has something immensely valuable to give you -- for free.

Something is being invented this year that will change how your generation lives, communicates, heals and passes on.

The next great song is being rehearsed.

Thousands of people are in yoga classes right now intentionally sending light out from their heart chakras and wrapping it around the earth.

Millions of children are assuming that everything is amazing and will always be that way.

Someone is in profound pain, and a few months from now, they'll be thriving like never before. They just can't see it from where they're at.

Someone who is craving to be partnered, to be acknowledged, to ARRIVE, will get precisely what they want -- and even more. And because that gift will be so fantastical in it's reach and sweetness, it will quite magically alter their memory of angsty longing and render it all "So worth the wait."

Someone has recently cracked open their joyous, genuine nature because they did the hard work of hauling years of oppression off of their psyche -- thisluminous juju is floating in the ether, and is accessible to you.

Someone just this second wished for world peace, in earnest.

Someone is fighting the fight so that you don't have to.

Some civil servant is making sure that you get your mail, and your garbage is picked up, that the trains are running on time, and that you are generally safe.Someone is dedicating their days to protecting your civil liberties and clean drinking water.

Someone is regaining their sanity. Someone is coming back from the dead. Someone is genuinely forgiving the seemingly unforgivable. Someone is curing the incurable.

You. Me. Some. One. Now.

Training update

2011-12-23T05:55:00.000-08:00

Last week I mentioned that I climbed OSM in 19:58

I went up yesterday after work in 18:19.

Next week I may or may not ride OSM. I will have the week off so I may try to get a bunch of longer rides in. Although by goal next time I ride will be 17:20.

We will see what next week brings.

------
Wed: Hope ranch loop
Th: OSM in 19:58
Fr: Raquetbal
Sat: Hike
Sun: Worlds + the hills coming home
Mon: Raquet ball
Tue: Lunch ride + farren
Wed: Zzzzzzz
TH: OSM (18:19) + Painted cave and home through Hope Ranch
Fr: OSM Tripeaters
-------
Legs feel good.

1 month until road racing starts... 3 months until mountain bike racing starts... It is amazing how body composition changes and so quickly... Maybe my metabolism is changing as I get older as well? I hear that happens...

Less cookies, more HTFU! Lets see what happens...

Fire it up...

2011-12-22T10:11:00.000-08:00

YOUR FIRST VEGAN MARATHON?

2011-12-20T07:23:00.000-08:00

Thinking about running your first Marathon? Maybe you have run Marathons before but now have seen the light, are vegan, and thinking about running your first ever Vegan marathon?

The good news is some of the worlds top endurance athletes are vegan, so you go that going you.

The next thing to do is head on over to no meat athletes Vegan Marathon Road Map and check it out. It might be the most important training book to ever read. Then again, it might not. Or might it...?

Different Stokes for different Folks

2011-12-20T07:11:00.000-08:00

Oh the things you hear on group rides... especially in December.

The thing about it is most places ( and grant it, this is only hear say as I have only really ever trained in Santa Barbara) in the winter bike racers are not pushing the intensity. They are building base, working on FTP, etc etc. Anything but hammering. But in Santa Barbara the group rides tend to be the fastest around Dec or Jan. Every year it seems to be the same and every year I hear things like:

"sheesh, look how fast everyone is riding, don't they know its winter"
"These guys are idiots out here, who rides fast in Decemeber"

You get the point right? Substitute any negative Nelly expression for this one and I am sure you have heard it uttered this winter (possibly even from me).

Oddly enough these people continue to show up on the group rides were some one is willing to push it.
Maybe winter just gives an excuse to wank, or a reason why they couldn't hold the wheel or be on top of their game.

If you can't stand the heat, get out the kitchen. If you don't want to ride fast stay away from the group rides. Sunday worlds is reasonably fast all year long. Most of these people just want to go out and have fun and group ride and are not necessarily hard core races and I think its great that people want to have a go at the sprints in December. More power to em'. Some people also don't have the time to put in 25 hour base weeks in the winter to to those with less time to burn, a little more speed could not be that bad.

Avoid conflict in your home life...

2011-12-17T08:11:00.000-08:00

Learn how to follow directions...

How did you start your day?

2011-12-16T09:03:00.001-08:00

This morning saw a little quite meditation, followed by some bomb bean, followed by a little Luis and Velma:

Ever Bike ride in Santa Barbara? Ride Old San Marcos Pass? OSM ANYONE?

2011-12-15T14:35:00.000-08:00

Well I did today. All out. AFAP (as fast as possible).

19:58

Oh yeah.

If I can break 16, form is decent enough to race generally speaking.

So the real question is how long will it take make 20 percent gain in form. Bare in mind I will be putting forth absolutely minimum effort?

One way would be to ask Marco.

Another way would be to attempt to make this happen and post weekly updates on time and training etc.

I think we will go with the latter.

Zombie Defense 101- Why being Vegan could save your life in case of zombie invasion

2011-12-12T14:22:00.000-08:00

FACT: The world is long over due for a ZOMBIE attack.

In fact it has been over 4.5 Billion years... This means that any day a massive break out of ZOMBIES could happen. ARE YOU PREPARED?

Step one: A fantastic list of supplies needed for your bunker: ZOMBIE PREP ESSENTIALS

Be sure that all items are safely stored to protect from fire, wind, water, laser beams, alien bounty hunters, and homeless vagrancy. Also procure in cold hard cash as you do not want the FEDs to know what you are up to. More then half of zombie outbreaks are caused by the government and while it is unknown what portion of the brain is accessible once a person has been turned, it is best not to chance it.

Step two: Buy this book and read it cover to cover. Be sure to study it like a text book. It is probably the most comprehensive manual on the subject
Zombie Survival Guide
Then read this book and learn all the moves by heart: Zombie Combat Manual

FACT: Bicycles are good form of transportation in case of zombie outbreak because they can be used as melee weapons. FACT PART TWO: It is well known that if you place playing cards in the spokes the noise that is produced strikes fear and confusion in the hearts of zombie mobs. This could provide valuable insentives

FACT: ZOMBIES CAN NOT SEE or SMELL VEGANS!!

Everything mentioned above will get you started but the real defense to zombie attack is going vegan. It is a well known fact that zombies can not see or smell vegans. I know what you are thinking... maybe I will just wait until zombie outbreak, then give up all Animal products and bingo bango boingo. WRONG MY FRIEND. It takes at least 4 months of Vegan cleanse in order to rid your body of all animal celluloid nimbus particles that saturate your skin from animal products.

Protect your family, save the world: GO VEGAN.

I have compiled the following list of Vegan Starter reading to help you along the way.

VEGAN MOFOs

May the VEGAN FORCE be with you.

Vegans are simply superior more highly evolved beings

2011-12-06T19:08:00.001-08:00

Exhibit A:

Saddle Up

2011-12-06T08:25:00.001-08:00

You got wheels, I got wheels...

Lets Roll...

Get the Facts about milk:

2011-11-21T15:11:00.001-08:00

http://www.milkdocumentary.com/

Training in the Desert

2011-11-21T15:02:00.001-08:00

Training Update:

Sat: >20 mile easy loop de loop soul ride around Palm springs with the Daddio.

Sun: ~1 hr trail run with the whole Fam the morning of my Sisters Wedding. East Licken trail in Palm Springs. Lower part with between 12 & 18% grades, then smooth along the top. Daddio played sweeper and hiked along.

Monday: Hit up Dunn road for a little Action about 1.5 hr ride time (limited because I had no water and no spare tube). Surprising technical single tracks that criss crossed the way down the fire road. Got lost and stuck on the side of a cliff for a minute, hiked back to the trail.

Dunn Road
In the 1960's, Mike Dunn illegally cut this road thru the Santa Rosa Mountains from Hwy 74 south to Cathedral City. He was speculating on land development that never happened. After many years of erosion in several areas, the road today is impassable except by horse, foot, or MTB. The 4 mile ride up to equestrian picnic tables and an abandon bulldozer is very challenging with only the fittest cyclists able to clean the entire road.
Just west of the intersection of Channel Dr. and Carroll Dr. in Cathedral City, there is a locked gate at the start of the road. This is the southwest corner of Cathedral City Cove, a housing area on the hillside south of Hwy 111 past the end of Cathedral Canyon Dr.
Please note that the lower part of the road goes thru private land and this constitutes trespassing, so the Desert Bicycle Club does not promote or recommend you riding this part of the road. There are other ways to get to the upper part where the best riding is located

My Plan is to hit this same trail up tomorrow with Water and Spare tire and ride up to Murray Peak.

The wheels on the buss go round and round

2011-11-17T07:02:00.001-08:00

Even when he conquers does not regard weapons as
lovely things. For to think them lovely means to delight
in them, and to delight in weapons means to delight in
the slaughter of mankind. He who delights in the
slaughter of men will never get what he looks for out of
those that dwell under heaven. A host that has slain
men is received with grief and mourning; he that has
conquered in battle is welcomed home with rites of
mourning.

-Lao Tze

Of one mind

2011-11-16T08:31:00.001-08:00

Truly recognize your faults.

Don’t discuss the faults of others.

Others’ faults are just my own.

Being of one substance with everyone

is called Great Compassion.

-Master Hua

Domestique

2011-11-14T08:50:00.001-08:00

Tamed and Domesticated House Man...Or Lethal Kung Fu Warrior?

Commute bogging you down?

2011-11-09T08:13:00.000-08:00

I can't help but notice all the stress on the faces of people driving home. I know I catch myself with a furrowed brow when I am navigating the freeways. I also remember being young in a carpool on my way home from from school and hearing from the front seat... "Out of my way you old Dinosaur fart". There is no doubt that driving in traffic is stressful. It is dangerous and there are hundreds of other cars out there filled with separate people who are most concerned with getting where they need to go the way they think they ought to do it. Some drive too fast. some drive slow in the fast lane. Others drive fast in the slow lane. Some weave in and out, others ride the brakes too much. Some apply makeup while driving. Others are on the phone. And most everyone has an opinion on what the others are doing.

Break the cycle.

Ride your bike to work, take a train, take a bus, sign up for a ride share at your work, jog. If you must drive, use it as a vehicle for kindness and consideration. There is no end to the possibilities to be courteous and spread kindness to strangers while on the road.

Find out what sort of traffic solutions or commute options are available for you and turn this:

Into This:

2 if by Train...

2011-11-08T13:03:00.000-08:00

The last Dalai Lama?

2011-11-08T08:51:00.000-08:00

http://www.dalailama.com/messages/tibet/reincarnation-statement

Training begins now

2011-11-05T08:47:00.001-07:00

Training begins now.
At this moment, not the next.
In this instance, not the previous.
With this breathe there if room enough for everything.
With this breathe there is no self, no bicycle, no finish line and no competitors.
Only sensations and perceptions. Phenomena arising and passing away.
Elements expanding and contracting.
Training begins now.

So Cal Cup Mtn Bike Series

2011-11-01T08:02:00.001-07:00

The SoCal cup series was just announced:

1. March 4th, 2012-Temecula

2. March 10th/11th-Bonelli Triple Crown

3. March 24th/25th-Fontana Triple Crown

4. April 1st-Riverside

5. April 28th/29th-Santa Ynez

6. May 20th-Sage Brush

7. June 3rd-Big Bear

Series FinalsJune 17th-California State Finals

This is pretty Ideal as they condensed the racing into 4 months, also only one Big Bear which I have mixed feelings about. That course can be pretty epic. I will be at every single one of those race

My riding plans for next year are to continue to take it mellow with little formal training until December. I have just been too busy with the new baby and Work . Even running consistently has been tough.

I also took a long hard evaluation of my relationship towards bicycle racing at the end of last season. So much Self, Ego, and suffering wrapped up in a hobby? It lead to a planned hiatus from all activities where competition could come into play: group rides, group runs, races of any kind etc. More to come on that topic next post.

Until then, stay classy Santa Barbara

Been a little busy...

2011-10-31T15:08:00.000-07:00

With this guy!

Unbelievable

2011-08-10T09:42:00.001-07:00

They are doing this entirely on their own (and with help from friends)

Pretty amazing if you ask me.

http://carpenterschallenge.blogspot.com/

Big ups to all who went out for Chucks Annual Beach Run!

2011-07-18T11:22:00.000-07:00

Results posted here:

Interesting article on the nations unemployment rate

2011-07-18T10:57:00.001-07:00

http://blogs.forbes.com/quickerbettertech/2011/07/18/9-2-unemployment-blame-microsoft/

A little Einstein to bring it home...

2011-07-18T06:38:00.001-07:00

"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." - Albert Einstein

What I did today

2011-06-17T16:13:00.000-07:00

BOOM! Watch out GOOGLE, I'm coming for you!

Everything belongs...

2011-06-13T18:35:00.000-07:00

What is it like right now? Its like this...

How it went down...

2011-06-13T14:25:00.001-07:00

Or what happens when team mates come up with super awesome hardman plans and then bail, leaving you with no ride to the race:

On Mon, Jun 13, 2011 at 2:16 PM, Cook, Brian D (Santa Barbara) wrote:

Hey Chester,

Please forward your Ontario race report to Todd.

Thanks,

Cook

---------------------------------

Dear Cook,

Ontario race was awesome. I started with such might and shear watts that my bicycle actually lifted off the pavement. So basically I had mucho mucho watts, and was no longer riding, but flying. I finished so far ahead of the field that they were not able to score me in the results and I was so high that the finish cameras did not capture me. So bad news is that I am not in the results. the good news however is that there were some blue angels watching from the airport and they were so impressed with how I fly bike American good job number 1 guy, that they recruited me as a stunt pilot. Do not worry, I will not forget all the little people who helped me along the way.

Admiral Gillmore out.

Black Metal VEGAN Chef... if you dont know, now you know...

2011-06-10T07:59:00.001-07:00

Santa Ynez Classic, Cat2, 25-29 race report. Awesomeness factor: EXTREME.

2011-06-06T07:06:00.000-07:00

"In some cultures, they build houses out of Adobe, team platinum builds victories" - The Professor

The race was slated to be a couple laps around a 10 mile course. Mostly non technical smooth single track with some steep punchy climbs and bumpy bumpy descents. A perfect roadie venue due to the non technical nature and the amount of climbing, which was not insignificant.
An announcement was made prior to the race that they were shortening the course on account of the mud on the backside, cutting the race down a few miles.

I lined up near the front and went full speed from the gun hoping to get the hole shot before the first small riser. There was already a rider who beat me to it, but I passed him before the first big climb. I also passed all of the older cat 1's and a lot of the women which was perfect because I knew that might slow the riders behind me and give me more a gap before the decent. I had a solid lead by the time I reached the drop however 3 other riders from my class caught me at the end of the downhill. The course was tight and 3 of them passed me right before the next climb only to granny gear it up (perhaps part of their strategy to slow me on the uphills). I patiently waited until I could get clear and went hard in the grass to pass the three riders. I also caught a few more women. Only one caught me at the bottom of the next section. I let him pass free and clear figuring he would return the favor on the climb. As it turned out the next climb was a wide "jeep climb" as I heard it called. I passed him easily and by the time I crossed start finished I had a pretty commanding lead going into the second lap.

Photo by Roxanne More. Lap one.

That is where it all went to hell. The rain was starting to fall and by the time I got to the first climb of the second lap I could not ride all the way up because of the mud clay that was starting to form thick and heavy. I had to walk a section, then jumped back up and rode it to the top. I was taking the decent nice and easy until I slid right off the trail... Then I got back on and was trying to push my bike but my tires would not even spin due to the 3 inches of mud and straw on my wheels and all the gunk in between my fork and tire. It was like nothing I had ever seen. A whole group of riders caught me as I was beside the trail pulling clumps of mud off of my bike... They too suffered the same fate however. There were about 5 pounds of clay on each of my shoes and bike was so heavy I could hardly carry it. Riders were bailing left and right. It was absolutely ridiculous. I could not pedal my bike and could hardly carry it. I cleared the gunk a couple times and was able to ride 100 foot sections only to have it build up again and seize on me. Riders were braking derailleurs and chains. I was covered head to toe with mud and there was no where to go. What felt like an hour later I reached the turn off where there was a car, a course marshal, and a cow trough. I dunked my whole bike in the cow trough hoping to loosen up enough gunk to even ride a little bit. I made it another 400 hundred feet before I was playing the same old game...

Finally the course flattened and hardened up a little bit before the jeep climb and I was able to keep my wheel spinning long enough to keep it quasi free. I was able to ride the whole jeep climb and caught and passed a dozen riders or so who were still having to walk. I was absolutely determined to finish this dang bike race, even if I had to run the rest of the way. Fortunately that was not the case. I was able to keep the wheels spinning fast enough to clear themselves, shifting was rendered obsolete. I finished strong for first place win and was able to snag a couple points for the team.

Photo by Roxanne More. Lap VICTORY

Just finishing this race was a victory. The attrition rate was well over 50 percent. It took me 30 minutes at the hose to remove 60 percent of the clay that had coagulated all over and in my Epic.

It was a truly epic race of the hard man variety, not for the feint of hart. The Belgians would be proud of us today.

Roxanne got a picture of the insanity which I will post as it becomes available.

It was a good day for Platinum, my team mates rode strong and I am proud to be a part of such a kick ass, hard man team. There will be more race reports from the rest of the gang as well as my fellow roadies who raced district championships in Bakersfield up north. Platinum got some good results this Be sure to check the website: http://platinumcycling.com/

Results:

Cat 2, MENS 25-29, 1st place

Barry Wolfe GP: a P12 Race report of slightly less than awesome proportions

2011-05-30T08:22:00.000-07:00

A tight four corner 0.7 mile/lap course with a very very slight raiser out of turn one.
Two plarinum riders made a showing for the pro 1 2 race: Tosh Clements and Myself (Chester Gillmore also known as Admiral Shred-a-saurus Gillmore to those in the know). The wind was fierce today with gusts over 20 mph and the field was thick with strong teams boasting top talent and big rosters.
The race started fast from gun and with the wind on the back side, the corners were brutal. I lost position quickly and knew five minutes into the race that my 10 minute warm up was insufficient and the back was not the place to be today. About 30 minutes from the start my race was over. My saddle came loose and was giving me some trouble which didn't help the situation. Later, I was told that I could have taken a free lap for that. You live and learn I suppose. Tosh came unglued about 10 minutes after I did. A tough day for all on the bike.
There were no less, than 3 crashes in the last ten minutes. Santos ended up taking the win and local santa barbara Echelon rider Alex finished with the lead group inside the top ten.

Both Tosh and I rode with class and represented the team with the up most dignity.

Results:

P12
Chester Gillmore DNF
Tosh Clements DNF

Big Bear Shoot Out #3: A cat 2, mens 25-29 race report , in the key of awesome

2011-05-23T06:48:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Mark Luke, I was able to make it to big bear for some good old fashion mtn bike racing. The course is very favored for climbers, especially roadies with no skillz. It starts with a long climb up fire road, followed by some more rolling fire road, followed by a wee bit of wet muddy singletrack, followed by a sandy fireroad descent, followed by another long steep climb (still fire road), followed by a technical single track descent, followed by, yeuo you guessed it, more fire road, then a technical single track to the finish.

The plan was go out hard, get a big gap, and then hope no one closed it on the downhills ( where I probably ride a fast as your grandma). The plan started out good enough for the fist two minutes, untill a group of about 6 shot by me. My legs were burning and I thought, well there goes my plan. I settled into a rhythm, and before long I reeled then all in as they started going backwards. Along the ridge and the first big decent, most of that group past me and the next 30 minutes weren't pretty as rider after rider came up on me and past me several in my age split. I knew there there was a decent sized climb still remaining so I tried to keep the damage under control untill the last climb. Finally it came and I gave it everything I had. I brought back most of the riders and even got a nice gap. I held that untill the last decent where a small group past me, but as it turned out, none from my age group.
I finished 1st in the cat 2, mens 25 - 29.

Platinum had a great showing with a handfull of podiums. It is nice to be part of such an awesome team. The guys at team big bear do a great job and the race was a blast, I am looking forward to more races in the dirt! A special thanks to Roxanne Moore for hiking all over that course to take pictures of the team!

Be sure to check in at http://platinumcycling.com/ for the latest photos and to see how the team has been doing this year.

Tour of California: on the cancellation of stage one.

2011-05-18T14:44:00.001-07:00

Rumor mill around the peloton is that everyone wanted to race except Levi and Hincape.

The reason being is for many, the only hope that they can beat the top top guys is a lucky break. Weather can provide just the platform. These are the days that the domestics live for. The chance for something to happen, to take a chance and have the opportunity to gain 20 minutes on the top guys.

This is a pretty typical situation. When ever those at the top have the most to loose and nothing to gain back door deals are made. Many times, even if forced to race, they would call a neutral peloton and just roll around at a mellow race until the end, when each team would pick a couple riders, send them to the front so the "fans" are not completely disappointed.

If you ask me, this is completely lame. I wonder what they are saying about us in belgium? Is this PRO cycling or is this LAWN BOWLING. GIVE ME A BREAK! Enough with the politics. Cycling used to be a sport for hardmen, and champions. Give me these days it is looking more and more and more like a sport.

Give me more Lance and Pantani dueling it out, tearing their insides apart, burning every match in the book and then 5 more.

Give me less wanking and more days like this:

Give me CYCLING.

D DAY AKA THE MOST AWESOME TUESDAY OF AWESOME RIDING:

2011-05-18T08:58:00.000-07:00

Thanks for everyone who showed up to the second installment of D DAY (the comeback, this time its personal, volume II, back with a vengeance). With a record number of riders it was an awesome day of riding.

Some of us headed up Farren for an epic HC mountain top finish.

The awards as presented by former PROCHAMP Matt Dubberly:

Matt dubberley:
show details 8:08 PM (12 hours ago)

Here are the awards for the REAL D DAY:

Excellence in technology award presented by TNA: Gary D. for dominating the ride without ever going over 250 watts.

Didnt-get-dropped this time ribbon (and was super awesome and executed operation domination to flawless precision and almost destroyed the Dubbernator): Chester G.

Did not get destroyed by Chester (but almost did ) cash purse: Matt D.

Stay tuned for next D day (aka, next Tuesday) for some super secret awesomeness and rip your heart out put peanut butter on the table and eat it, cycling extravaganza.

BIG DOG tiny ball

2011-05-18T08:20:00.001-07:00

Training 5-9 to 5/14

2011-05-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

Monday: 24 miles easy

Tuesday: Lunch Time Hammer fest (operation fake D-day)

Wed: 1.5 hr SST

Th:1.5 hr SST

F: 1.5 hr SST

S: 1 hr Mtn Bike, Elings

Training was put on the back burner a little this week. It turned into a quasi recovery week, unintentionally. Although I don't believe anything is truly unintentional so I ran with it. I think I was still carrying a lot of fatigue from the past weekend. This week my goal will to do another build week and continue to ramp up training for a strong June and July of solid racing.

D-Day - Group riding in Santa Barbara - AKA secret awesome plan, operation MDUB TAKE DOWN in full effect

2011-05-11T08:15:00.001-07:00

D is for destruction. Or at least it was going to be. That was the plan heading into the Tuesday hammer fest: destroy arch nemeses MAT DUBBERLY.

Not an easy task and I was hoping to rely on solid team mates. Well it turned out that those solid team mates had other plans and back door deals had been made. Shinnanagins ensued and quickly I realized it was going to be every man for themselves.

There was espionage, sabotage, back stabbing, and all around mayhem.

Gary Douville to platinum-road-.
show details 6:18 PM (14 hours ago)
Yellow jersey - You - Overall Omnium lead and winner of Stages 2 and 3 (although just barely). You'll get yours.

Red jersey - I was the winner of Stage 1 and most combative.

Pink jersey - Mdub for most aggressive...and he looks good in pink.

Participation award - Chester

Good thing I am on the take and staged this D-Day as a practice for the REAL D-DAY, next Tuesday. You see, this is not this kids first time around the block. I knew secret alliances were going to be forged and I had to expose peoples true colors.

Lets just say the intel is in and seeing as I got served this week, next week is MOST DEFINITELY ON...

Leave the sneakers, TT bikes, and dresses at home - next Tuesday we ride will the bulls.

Be there:

WHAT: THE REAL D-DAY

WHEN: TUESDAY 5-17-11, 11:58pm (Don't be late)

WHERE: CAT OAKS & FAIRVIEW

WHO: MDUB, Admiral Shredd-a-saurus, the rest of the Platinum Boys, and anyone brave enough to show their face...

Le Etape Du California 2011

2011-05-09T08:08:00.000-07:00

Saturday a bunch of us decided to head down to LA to participate in this wonderful event. Sometimes, "fun rides" like these turn out to be anything but as some of the best racers in California show up and inevitably the 'gloves come off'.

Before the ride I was talking with Dave Lettieri before the event started who said "It's gonna be ON".

And for the most part it was. The group kept it at a conversational pace for most of the first climb, until we passed through the tunnel when Sergio Hernandez made the comment about it suppose to be a social ride and everyone had stopped socializing. The pace continued to slowly ramp up, but he decided to start talking again.

Near the top of the first KOM, Tinker Juarrez who had been climbing for about 40 minutes in his big gear decided to take off, never to be seen again.

The decent across the ridge and back down towards San Dimas was awesome. Then came the GMR climb (the first part of which is the TT for San Dimas Stage Race). The ride had been not been easy up to this point, but it had not been super difficult either.

At this point EVERYTHING CHANGED. Zabriskie got to the front and laid down the law. I hung in there as long as I possibly could but Tim Johnson's words "we have 2 more hours of climbing boys" were echoing through my head. I decided enough was enough and let the group slowly fade away into the distance and I settled into a nice friendly rhythm. Tim caught up to me after he had stopped for a nature break and pulled me and a friend of his to the top, where we found Zabriskie and a couple HTC guys at the top of the KOM off of their Bikes. "What happened?" said Tim. "Those guys went ape shit" responded Zabriskie. There was a stop just down the ridge where I scarfed down some food and filled up my bottles.

Randy Pulled up who had been dropped earlier and did a quick feed and then hopped back on the saddle ahead of Tim and Dave. I figured I better get an early start as well and quickly ran after him.

Although I did not quit have what it took. Randy dropped me on the ridge and I rode the rest of the ride solo. Nothing could have prepared me for the last KIM, average 8.9% grade over 4 miles. I settled into a Rhythm and dug deep into my psyche. The pain was excruciating and I definitely was not prepared or trained for that last death slog.

But somehow I made it.

The results had me 19th overall with a finishing time of 5:52:00.. and both the KOM's somewhere between 20th and 30th.

I was super stoked on finishing a great ride, with some awesome friends and riders (Gary stayed with the lead guys the whole way and finished around 5:30:00 !!) .

Watching this stage of the tour is going to be AWESOME having completed the ride myself.

Training 5/2 - 5/8

2011-05-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

Mon: Cat Oaks Crawl (easy hour + ride home from work)

Tuesday: Lunch time Hammer Fest + Farren + 1.5 hr sst (to and from work)

Wed: Morning big gear+ Long way home (2 hr)

Thurs: Morning HARD ride to work + OSM (tempo) on the way home.

Fri: Easy spin into work

Sat: Le etape du California (Stage 7 of the TOC): 90 miles (Not really a race, but finished 19th, 4hrs52min) One of the hardest rides I have done in a very very very LONG time.

Sun: Worlds + Back home along the 192 (2.5 hrs)

Good solid week of training. I finally felt like I had good legs at worlds. Definitely coming into form.

Dana Point Grand Prix Cat 2 Race Report

2011-05-04T10:48:00.000-07:00

Not sure what exactly to say about this one. I was hurting pretty bad from a couple of gnarly crashes the day before at the Idyllwild Spring Challenge but this venue is too good to pass up. The crowds are massive and it is really fun when the community gets involved in the race. The course is a 6 corner .8 mile course with 2 slight risers and we would be racing for 60 minutes. The field size was somewhere between 65 and 70 and with the PROS and Cat 1's racing separately today I knew the field was going to be hungry for points and the pass was going to be fast. Tosh and I were the only Platinum Riders represented in the the field. The pass was FAST from the gun. I shot gunned it in the back for most of the race and started to make my way toward the front with 15 minutes to go, which proved harder then I imagined due to the pace of the race. I was caught behind a crash in the end and ended up finishing 38th. All I can say was the pace was FAST. Platinum ported ourselves nicely with riders represented in multiple categories and it was great to get the speed in the legs.

Results:

CAT 2
Tosh Clements: 18th Place
Chester Gillmore: 38th Place

Cat 3
Ryan Gieglow: 38th Place

Cat 4:
DJ Limbardi: 21st Place

Training 4/25 - 5/1

2011-05-04T07:47:00.000-07:00

M:
Tues: Lunch ride + 1 hour SST
Wed: Farren Road + Crit practice
Thurs: Easy spin
Friday: Hope Ranch leg openers
Sat: Idyllwild Spring Challeng3 (3rd place_ Cat 2)
Sun: Dana Point grand prix (38th_ Cat 2)

Racing this weekend was awesome. Hurt like hell, but motivation is high and I am enjoying training again. The Plan is to continue the rides I have been doing and continue adding distance / intensity here and there.

Idyllwild Spring Challenge Race Report

2011-05-02T08:10:00.000-07:00

I lined up for the Cat 2 19-29 at the Idyllwild Spring Challenge, in Idyllwild Ca.

The course was an 18+ mile loop in Idyllwild Back country. Absolutely beautiful course, but extremely challenging. By far the most Technical race I have ever ridden and I was talking with a few of the PRO riders who had the same to say.

I attacked out of the Gun with my usual strategy: Try to get as big a gap as possible on the first couple of climbs and then hope that no one catches me on the descents. The gun went off and I sprinted for hole shot, as the first climb was a rocky single track and I knew I needed to be first in line if I was going to have a chance. I reached the top of the climb and there was still a rider on my wheel. Not a good sign. He quickly passed me on the first decent and I caught him again on the flat. It was neck and neck for the first half of the race until another rider from our class caught up. We all stayed together until the first long downhill section when the lead rider took off. I stayed neck right ahead of the rider behind as we suffered through technical descents and even more technical ascents. It was an off again on again affair and due to the technical nature of the second half of the course, my fitness was of little use. I put some time into the rider behind me, but after my 4th crash of the day he finally passed me up and that was the last I saw of him. I limped in to the finish line with a time that put me 12th overall and 3rd in my class. An awesome race, through some of the most beautiful country in all of Southern California, but definitely not a "roadie course". I'm sure Ill be back for more next year!

Results:

Chester Gillmore - 3rd place, Cat 2 mens 19-19, 2:06:07 (11th overall Cat 2)

Steve Bertrand -4th place Cat 2 mens 55-59, 2:28:58

Give it up...

2011-04-29T08:50:00.000-07:00

About 3 weeks ago for all intents and purposes I gave up refined sugars. I say for all intensive purposes because I still have the occasional bowl of cereal (puffed rice) that lists sugar as an ingredient, and while on a ride I will still eat a cliff bar here and there, or a Ginger chew. The first week I was having cravings at night that rivaled cigarette cravings when I used to smoke. I smoked for about 5 years or so and when I finally gave em up those cravings were no joke. Intense, demanding attention. Well I was very surprised to find cravings for sugar on the same caliber. The funny thing is you get through it and then its over and I always feel better when I stick to my guns and do not cave in. Slowly these cravings are being subsiding. Another thing that has been helpful to eat a good amount of fruit. I think it really helps to get good levels of natural sugars int he system. I am not sure how long I am going to keep this up. The original plan was do do it for about 6 weeks. I have a friend who has never really eaten refined sugar, not as a child, not ever. He can not STAND the taste of it. I also know many really talented endurance athletes who obstane from most refined sugar. I think the proof is in the pudding.

This week I gave up coffee. No big deal for some, but ever since I returned from Italy my espresso intake has been on the rise. What started as one or two doubles a day was quickly turning into 6 or even 7. Enough was enough so I gave it up on Monday. I switched over to green tea and after only 4 days my energy levels are stabilizing out, I am sleeping better at night, and my perceived stress has reduced greatly.

With a kid on the way I have been thinking long and hard about being an example. The biggest impact we make on others is how we live our own lives. I think this is especially true with the little ones as they will be watching Mom and Dad. I have been thinking a lot about accountability and the current areas in my life where my actions and how I actually live my life differ from my so called beliefs. In other words, I have been thinking about the disconnects. These were two little simple changes that I could make that would better align my values and my actions.

Training 4/18- 4/24

2011-04-24T16:18:00.000-07:00

Training has been progressing nicely. Subtly adding more miles and intensity.

M:
Tuesday: HR loop + Tuesday hammer fest
W: sailing
TH: OSM repeaters + SST
F: easy spin around town
S: Echelon ride, plus OSM and PC seated, high Cadence
Sunday: Gibraltar + Sunday worlds + silly sprinting fun along Cabrillo with the young bucks

The plan for next week is to continue a steady ramp up to a race weekend. I am racing the Idyllwild Spring Challenge (and then possibly Dana point cat 2's)

Felt really good this week with more miles in the saddle and 3 consistent weeks with solid weekend training rides... Motivation is high. At this point I will come into form for the very last race of the year :)

To all the Killers and 100 dollar billers...

2011-04-20T06:10:00.000-07:00

When I grow up I want to me like...

All I can say is yesterday on the Foothill noon time hammer fest we were all getting worked over by Owen. This guy is awesome and I can only hope that I am in half as good as shape as he is when I am his age.

Last week on the OSM climb it was Ed who was dishing out the Pain.

These guys have 30 years on me and rake me over the coals on the regular, pushing me to my limits...

When I stop for a second and really appreciate their fitness it is DAMN inspiring.

So this one goes out to those over 50 who are servin cats out there on the streets of SB. Those who refuse to let anything get them down.

You know who are... keep on keeping on.

Former Domestic Pro's take in Power meters...

2011-04-20T06:05:00.001-07:00

Mdub: I see you are in the market for a power meter?

Me: Just seeing what's out there and I am getting more serious about training.

Mdub: Dude, power meters are for chumps. You don't need a power meter. All you need to do is ride to and from work with me, Im good for a least an average of 1000watts yeah?, Well maybe 500 in my draft...

-----

Training 4-11-4-17

2011-04-18T09:53:00.000-07:00

Monday: 0
Tuesday: lunch Hammer fest
Wed: Sailing
Th: OSM repeaters: Second OSM repeat around 18:13 (full gass)
F: Mtn Bike, Elings park
Sat: Echelon Ride
Sunday: 1 hr + Sunday worlds (Did not get dropped over goob climb)

Well, I would say the biggest highlight of the comeback training is that I did not get popped coming over goob and that fitness is slowly returning. A couple more weeks and I will be back in the game.

This week I plan on hitting OSM pretty hard... Definitely try for repeaters on Wed and Thurs. At least 2 maybe 3.

I was contemplating racing Devils Punchbowl this Sat as a shocker to the system. But I think my time would be better spent at this point putting in solid miles at home...

I plan on racing the Idyllwild Spring Challenge (mtn bike race) for sure and then hitting the end of the season with Flurry: Including all of the remaining mtn bike races and a whatever road races I can manage.

The Come Back...

2011-04-11T11:15:00.000-07:00

Training week of 4-4-11:

M: 1.45 SST
T: 1.45 SST
W: Sailing
Th: OSM+ Painted cave (times to slow to record)
F: 1 hour Mtn Bike, Elings
S: Mtn Bike, Romero, HARD
S: Sunday Worlds (Dropped over Goob) + Mtm Bike, Romero, EASY

I called the white house today

2011-04-08T11:03:00.000-07:00

That is right,

I called the President Obama today to let him know that I support USDA’s proposed GIPSA rule! In an effort to try to level the playing field and let some of the smaller farmers compete with Big Meat.

Some people would say that my call did not make the slightest bit of difference. I would disagree with that statement. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Our actions matter more then any else in the world. We are defined by our actions and today instead of belly aching about the state and condition of this or that, I took action against something that I believe is wrong.

What did you do today?

Big Little New...

2011-04-02T16:14:00.000-07:00

Today I am 26 years old and My wife is 16 weeks pregnant.

Rationalization

2011-03-28T08:15:00.001-07:00

I often come across people who have chosen to go vegetarian for humanitarian reasons. They simply did not want to participate in the suffering of animals. Very Noble and highly respected in my book.

But these vary same people will sit down at a restaurant and order an omlette. They do so because they do not believe they are participating in the suffering of animals... Hens have to lay eggs correct? If they eggs are coming from your back yard that may be correct. However the following is the truth about what is really going on. If you want to read more on the matter you can do so here...

These are not scare tactics or exaggeration of the truth. Unfortunately the truth is bad enough that scare tactics are not needed. In a very short amount of time (read 20-30 years) this has become the reality.

There are more than 280 million egg laying hens in the U.S. confined in battery cages — small wire cages stacked in tiers and lined up in rows inside huge warehouses. In accordance with the USDA's recommendation to give each hen four inches of 'feeder space,' hens are commonly packed four to a cage measuring just 16 inches wide. In this tiny space, the birds cannot stretch their wings or legs, and they cannot fulfill normal behavioral patterns or social needs. Constantly rubbing against the wire cages, they suffer from severe feather loss, and their bodies are covered with bruises and abrasions.
In order to reduce injuries resulting from excessive pecking — an aberrant behavior that occurs when the confined hens are bored and frustrated — practically all laying hens have part of their beaks cut off. Debeaking is a painful procedure that involves cutting through bone, cartilage, and soft tissue.

Laying more than 250 eggs per year each, laying hens' bodies are severely taxed. They suffer from "fatty liver syndrome" when their liver cells, which work overtime to produce the fat and protein for egg yolks, accumulate extra fat. They also suffer from what the industry calls 'cage layer fatigue,' and many become 'egg bound' and die when their bodies are too weak to pass another egg.

Osteoporosis is another common ailment afflicting egg laying hens, whose bodies lose more calcium to form egg shells than they can assimilate from their diets. One industry journal, Feedstuffs, explains, "...the laying hen at peak eggshell cannot absorb enough calcium from her diet..." while another (Lancaster Farming) states, "... a hen will use a quantity of calcium for yearly egg production that is greater than her entire skeleton by 30-fold or more." Inadequate calcium contributes to broken bones, paralysis, and death.

After one year in egg production, the birds are classified as 'spent hens' and are sent off to slaughter. Their brittle, calcium-depleted bones often shatter during handling or at the slaughterhouse. They usually end up in soups, pot pies, or similar low-grade chicken meat products in which their bodies can be shredded to hide the bruises from consumers.

With a growing supply of broiler chickens keeping slaughterhouses busy, egg producers have had to find new ways to dispose of spent hens. One entrepreneur has developed the 'Jet-Pro' system to turn spent hens into animal feed. As described in Feedstuffs, "Company trucks would enter layer operations, pick up the birds, and grind them up, on site, in a portable grinder... it (the ground up hens) would go to Jet-Pro's new extruder-texturizer, the 'Pellet Pro.'"

In one notorious case of extraordinary cruelty at Ward Egg Ranch in February 2003 in San Diego County, California, more than 15,000 spent laying hens were tossed alive into a wood-chipping machine to dispose of them. Despite tremendous outcry from a horrified public, the district attorney declined to prosecute the owners of the egg farm, calling the use of a wood-chipper to kill hens a "common industry practice."

In some cases, especially if the cost of replacement hens is high, laying hens may be 'force molted' to extend their laying capacity. This process involves starving the hens for up to 18 days, keeping them in the dark, and denying them water to shock their bodies into another egg-laying cycle. Commonly, between 5 and 10% of birds die during the molt, and those who live may lose more than 25% of their body weight.

For every egg-laying hen confined in a battery cage, there is a male chick who was killed at the hatchery. Because egg-laying chicken breeds have been genetically selected exclusively for maximum egg production, they don't grow fast or large enough to be raised profitably for meat. Therefore, male chicks of egg-laying breeds are of no economic value, and they are literally discarded on the day they hatch — usually by the cheapest, most convenient means available. Thrown into trash cans by the thousands, male chicks suffocate or are crushed under the weight of others.

Another common method of disposing of unwanted male chicks is grinding them up alive. This can result in unspeakable horrors, as described by one research scientist who observed that "even after twenty seconds, there were only partly damaged animals with whole skulls". In other words, fully conscious chicks were partially ground up and left to slowly and agonizingly die. Eyewitness accounts at commercial hatcheries indicate similar horrors of chicks being slowly dismembered by machinery blades en route to trash bins or manure spreaders.

Inspiration

2011-03-25T07:13:00.000-07:00

Some times all we need is just a little push from a friend...

basically...

2011-03-24T12:01:00.000-07:00

This is my wife and I hiking the Cinque Terra trail in italy...and she is awesome!

2011-03-24T08:48:00.000-07:00

Vegan Athlete - Summary list of vegan/vegetarian

Anyone who may be skeptical about the strength, endurance and general health of people choosing a vegetarian diet might consider these vegetarian athletes:

Ridgely Abele
Winner of eight national championships in karate
Surya Bonaly
Olympic figure skating champion
Brendan Brazier
Professional Ironman triathlete
Peter Burwash
Davis Cup winner and professional tennis star
Andreas Cahling
Swedish champion bodybuilder, Olympic gold medallist in the ski jump
Chris Campbell
Olympic wrestling champion
Nicky Cole
First woman to walk to the North Pole
Ruth Heidrich
Six-time Ironwoman, USA track and field Master's champion
Keith Holmes
World-champion middleweight boxer
Desmond Howard
Professional football star, Heisman trophy winner
Peter Hussing
European super heavy-weight boxing champion
Scott Jurek Ultramarathoner, Course Record Holder at Badwater and Western States
Wiki
Audio interview with Animal Voices: MP3
Debbie Lawrence
World record holder, women's 5K racewalk
Sixto Linares
World record holder, 24-hour triathlon
Cheryl Marek and Estelle Gray
World record holders, cross-country tandem cycling
Ingra Manecki
World champion discus thrower
Bill Manetti
Power-lifting champion
Ben Matthews
U.S. Master's marathon champion
Dan Millman
World champion gymnast
Martina Navratilova
Champion tennis player
Paavo Nurmi
Long-distance runner, winner of nine Olympic medals and 20 world records
Bill Pearl
Four-time Mr. Universe
Bill Pickering
World record-holding swimmer
Stan Price
World weightlifting record holder, bench press
Murray Rose
Swimmer, winner of many Olympic gold medals and world records
Dave Scott
Six-time winner of the Ironman triathlon
Art Still
Buffalo Bills and Kansas City Chiefs MVP defensive end, Kansas City Chiefs Hall of Fame
Jane Wetzel
U.S. National marathon champion
Charlene Wong Williams
Olympic champion figure skater
Excerpted from The Food Revolution, by John Robbins, published by Camaro Press.

Check out more from http://www.veganathlete.com

Euro Power

2011-03-07T15:00:00.000-08:00

I am heading to Europe for two weeks.

I will be renting a bicycle and sneaking my way into a local race... one way or another it is going to happen and it will be EPIC.

More to come on that later.

Stay Classy Santa Barbara, and remember to eat your Kale!

Something that matters

2011-03-06T12:41:00.000-08:00

The question is not, "Can they reason?" nor, "Can they talk?" but rather, "Can they suffer?" -Jeremy Bentham

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter "
- MLK

Did you know that pigs love to have their bellies rubbed?

Its true, they love it just as much as Blue Dogs.

Did you know that Cows give kisses?

This is why I stopped eating meat. Not because of stupid health reasons. But because the animals I was eating were living creatures who were suffering horribly just so I could satisfy a culinary desire.

“Just how destructive does a culinary preference have to be before we decide to eat something else? If contributing to the suffering of billions of animals that live miserable lives and (quite often) die in horrific ways isn’t motivating, what would be?" - Jonathan Safran Foer

George Bernard Shaw said it pretty good: Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends."

Some say...

2011-03-06T09:02:00.001-08:00

"I walked into a life of tainted dreams and gumball machines
Nestled between a window seat and the drain of the main stream."
-Illogic

Update on the vow of silence...

2011-03-04T11:42:00.001-08:00

Still in effect.

Heading to Europe for a couple weeks next week so the blog will be quiet and the travel will definitely set my fitness back so the period of silence will grow...

I think a good gauge for when I begin speaking again will be an OSM accent time around 15:30...

Until then, viva la seleccionar.

I got Dropped...

2011-03-02T08:05:00.000-08:00

And Oh, the shame of it all...

That's right. Yesterday I decided to head out to the Tuesday lunch ride and I got my ass handed to me. I got dropped, and not just a little dropped. I got DROPPED... 3 times to be exact. Coming down Glenn Annie, on the flat section after the climb by the high school before the 4 way stop sign, and again on the way back before I turn off on Los Carneros.

The legs had no snap, there was no pain cave.

In light of this piece of humble pie that I have digested I have vowed to take on oath of sorts. Until I build form I will no longer be speaking while on the bicycle. That is right I am taking a vow of silence. The exceptions to this vow are if people ask me a question I will answer but other then that my lips are sealed until my form returns.

That is all.

Federal Budget... Do you know what going on?

2011-03-01T07:44:00.000-08:00

Here is another segment from Democracy Now discussing what going on with Federal Spending:

AMY GOODMAN: President Obama has unveiled a budget plan seeking to trim the federal deficit by cutting or eliminating over 200 federal programs, many dedicated to social services and education. The $3.7 [trillion] proposal would cut funding in half for the Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program, which subsidizes heating costs for low-income Americans. It also calls for cutting $300 million from community development block grants and limiting an expansion of the Pell grant program for low-income college students.

Announcing the proposal, Obama touted his previously stated pledge to freeze funding for domestic programs outside of the military for five years.

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: As a start, I’ve called for a freeze on annual domestic spending over the next five years. This freeze would cut the deficit by more than $400 billion over the next decade, bringing this kind of spending—domestic discretionary spending—to its lowest share of our economy since Dwight Eisenhower was president. Let me repeat that. Because of our budget, this share of spending will be at its lowest level since Dwight Eisenhower was president. That level of spending is lower than it was under the last three administrations, and it will be lower than it was under Ronald Reagan. Now, some of the savings will come through less waste and more efficiency.

AMY GOODMAN: Obama’s plan includes two modest tax hikes for banks and oil companies. It also calls for ending the Bush-era tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans in 2013 and returning the estate tax to its higher 2009 levels. But it comes less than two months after Obama signed into law a measure that temporarily extended the tax cuts and reduced the estate tax, adding over $500 billion to the federal deficit. According to the White House, the deficit will reach a record $1.6 trillion next year.

The Pentagon meanwhile will see its first spending reduction since the 9/11 attacks, but only at modest levels. The budget allots $553 billion for the Pentagon’s regular spending—$12 billion less than what the military expected, but still three percent higher over fiscal year 2011. Another $118 billion is earmarked for war-time spending.

For analysis of Obama’s proposed budget, I’m joined now by John Nichols, the Washington correspondent for The Nation magazine. He’s joining us from Madison, Wisconsin.

John, welcome to Democracy Now! What stands out for you about the proposed budget?

JOHN NICHOLS: An awful lot does, Amy. I’m pretty disappointed in it. The Catholic Church has always said that budgets are moral documents and that a budget tells us what a government, what a political entity, deems to be most important. And the unsettling thing to me about this budget is that a Democratic president is proposing an expansion of military spending—a substantial expansion of military spending. He’s also proposing to dramatically increase the amount of U.S. government support for the building of nuclear power plants, for all sorts of initiatives that we thought had been settled, old issues.

At the same time, there are dramatic cuts in humanitarian programs and, well, in programs that we think of as basic social services. The LIHEAP program, which is Low Income Heating [Home Energy] Assistance, really, really vital program for people in the northern tier of the United States, is going to take an absolutely dramatic cut. And that cut’s important, Amy, because that’s going to have to be made up someplace, and if the federal government is not funding it, that money is going to have to come from state, county and municipal governments that are already incredibly hard hit. So it’s a brutal attack, frankly. Also, I think the messing with the Pell grants—

AMY GOODMAN: Let me go to—John, let me go to the White House budget director Jacob Lew, who detailed the budget proposal Monday in Washington. Boston Globe reporter Donovan Slack questioned Lew about the 50 percent cut to the Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program.

DONOVAN SLACK: What would the President say to a low-income elderly person in Massachusetts who can’t afford to pay their heating bill? Why are you investing in wireless and not helping her pay her bill?

JACOB LEW: You’re asking why we make a reduction in the Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program. And I have to tell you, this is a very hard cut. This is a cut that has real impact. It’s a program that’s done an enormous amount of good for an enormous number of people. It was never meant to be an entitlement program. It was meant to be a grant program that the states administered. Its funding level has fluctuated based on needs. Balancing our fiscal challenges and the funding change from 2008 to now, we made the tough decision. And, you know, we have said in our documents in the budget that, you know, we will keep our eye on where prices go and what need in the future is, but we can’t just kind of cruise at a historic high spending level when we’re trying to make these very difficult savings.

AMY GOODMAN: That was Jacob Lew. Your response, John?

JOHN NICHOLS: Well, I grew up in a cold climate. As a kid, I used to walk to school in 20-below-zero weather. And you knew the kids who came from homes that were low income, that were struggling to pay those bills. And the LIHEAP program is not some sort of, you know, easy-going benefit that the government throws out if it’s got a little extra money. It’s life and death. This is something that decides whether people can heat their homes in frigid climates. It’s also something that really decides whether communities can maintain their services. Remember, we’re talking about places that don’t have a choice on whether you’re going to use home heating oil, whether you’re going to use heating oil to heat your schools and your community centers. You have to do it. And so, for the Obama administration to go here, I think, is a very bad signal.

And frankly, I think it’s hugely cynical, because I think the President and his people believe that this is one issue where the Congress will feel forced to find the money. So, instead of the White House making the tough choices, you see a situation where they’re punting it over. I find it very disappointing, as I do an awfully lot of the social service and education cuts in this budget. They seem to be designed to send symbolic messages about some notion that the President is willing to make cuts rather than doing the right thing, which is to say there are some programs that we simply will not cut, because they’re life-and-death programs, and they’re also essential programs to a civil society.

AMY GOODMAN: And how would you compare the cuts to the more than 200 federal programs involving social services and education to what we’re seeing at the Pentagon?

JOHN NICHOLS: Well, it’s just horrifying, Amy. You know, one of the most frustrating things is how our media covers budgets. And it is, frankly, a repetition of spin. And so, so much of the media reported yesterday that the White House was proposing $70 to $80 billion worth of cuts in Pentagon spending. What that really is is Secretary Gates saying, "Here are some things that we don’t think we need." At the end of the day, however, there are not cuts in military spending. This is an expansion of Pentagon spending at a dramatic level, three to five percent, depending on how you measure it.

And the important thing is, here you have President Obama saying that they’ve gotten down to the lowest level of domestic spending, domestic discretionary spending, since the Eisenhower era. That certainly sounds good as a sound bite, but understand what that means. It means that now Pentagon spending, defense spending, is a dramatically higher level of what our budget goes to. And I wish President Obama would remember what Dwight Eisenhower said about defense spending versus domestic spending. Dwight Eisenhower said, every time you buy a bomb, every time you pay for a bullet, that’s money that comes out of building a school or putting a roof on a house. I just think the President is making a lot of wrong choices here.

AMY GOODMAN: We’re going to go to break. When we come back, we’re going to stay with John, and we’ll be joined by a Wisconsin teacher. A quite remarkable speech by the Republican Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin, who is threatening to call out the National Guard if there’s any unrest. He has unveiled a plan to strip state employees of their right to collective bargaining. This is Democracy Now!, democracynow.org, The War and Peace Report. Back in a minute.

Are you following the news in Wisconsin?

2011-02-28T16:20:00.000-08:00

The following is an excerpt from Democracy Now:

AMY GOODMAN: Labor protests in Madison, Wisconsin, have entered their third week. Hundreds of demonstrators defied police orders and slept inside the State Capitol building on Sunday night to oppose to the Republican Governor Scott Walker’s attempt to strip most public employees of the right to collectively bargain. Governor Walker had ordered the Capitol to be emptied by 4:00 p.m., but Capitol police decided not to enforce the order after hundreds of labor activists, students and supporters refused to leave.

Meanwhile, on Saturday as many as 100,000 people packed the freezing streets of Madison in the largest protest the city has seen since the Vietnam War. Tens of thousands of people marched in solidarity protests in other state capitols. While it may have been the largest labor protest in the United States in years, the demonstration in Madison received little attention by the corporate press. Today we broadcast some of the voices from the Madison rally.

JEFF SKILES: I’m Jeff Skiles. And two years ago I was being honored in this very Capitol building as a hero for being one of the pilots in the Miracle on the Hudson. But I’m here to tell you that on that day there were many, many heroes: pilots, flight attendants, air traffic controllers, firemen, policemen, crews of the ferry boats, EMTs. We didn’t abandon those passengers to save themselves; we all worked together to save everybody. That’s a lesson that people in this Capitol building need to learn. All those trained professionals put aside the fear for their own personal safety to get the job done. And every one of them was a union member. Unions help their people do their jobs better.

And I’d like to talk to you today about one group that has touched my family’s lives. I’d like to talk about the educators in my home town of Oregon, Wisconsin, these professional men and women who have devoted their lives to develop and nurture our future, our children, and they have given my children and myself a priceless gift: I have watched my kids grow into responsible, intelligent and caring adults due to their contributions. Just yesterday, my youngest son, J.J., got his ACT college entrance exam scores in the mail. He got a 26. What do you suppose Scott Walker got? That’s a good enough score to get into Wisconsin’s flagship campus, here, the UW-Madison. But J.J. won’t be going to college next year, because J.J. is only in the eighth grade. That didn’t happen because of Scott Walker. That happened because of the educators in the Oregon School District, and that happened because of all of you.

But teachers are only one small collection of voices among the hundreds of thousands of nurses, public employees, state and local workers who will be impacted by this bill. Our federal government has acknowledged our basic right to join together and make our collective voices heard by union membership. The Supreme Court has defended that right. But this budget bill will strip Wisconsin public workers of the protections and rights enjoyed by other Americans. This bill will regulate public workers to second-class status in America. Are we going to let that happen?

CROWD: No!

JEFF SKILES: Let’s not forget how this budget crisis came about, and let’s not let this governor and this Republican legislature shift the blame for what’s wrong with America from corporate profiteers and instead demonize our teachers, our nurses and our public-sector employees.

MARY BELL: Good afternoon, everybody. Thank you for coming out. You are an amazing display of Wisconsin democracy. It is a great February Wisconsin day for a rally. And I can tell you, for those of us who have been here for the last two weeks, we continue to be inspired by your desire to set aside everyday work to come out and have your voice heard.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait! I have a phone call. Hang on! I’ve been trying to get through to this guy all week long. Let’s see if he’s on! Just a minute. Uh, oh, yeah, Governor Walker? Governor Walker, this is Mary Bell. I’m the president of the Wisconsin Education Association Council. Yeah, now, well, I know you might not know who I am. I have been walking kind of around the Capitol for a couple of weeks. You might have seen me with one of those signs that says, you know, "Please stop the attacks on working families." Oh, yeah, I know, you’re a busy guy; you’ve got a lot of things to do. You probably don’t have time for a junior high teacher from Wisconsin Rapids. It’s tough. But you know, yeah, yeah, Governor Walker, Wisconsin Rapids is in Wisconsin!

On behalf of all the hard-working families across this state, Governor, I thought I’d take one more chance to explain why the people, over a quarter of a million Wisconsinites, have turned out to tell you this is the wrong approach. You see, public employees like me, we’ve already agreed to the financial hit in order to help the state meet its budget shortfall. But it isn’t about that. We will not accept taking away our rights. As a teacher, I cannot have you take away my say in the lives of my school and my students.

Oh, what? You have another call coming in? A call from, like a Mr. Cook? Oh, Koch! I see, I see. Well, I guess if an out-of-state billionaire is more important than a quarter of a million Wisconsinites, I’ll have to let you go. Bye bye.

Well, it’s a pretend conversation, but it’s the only one I’ve had with the Governor, so... It feels like the same one-sided discussion we’ve had for the last two weeks, replayed day after day after day. We send the same message: it isn’t about economics; it’s about our rights in the workplace.

RALLY M.C.: This is what democracy looks like. This is what people power looks like. This is what union power looks like. And I am so excited to be able to announce, all the way from the West Wing to his native Madison, let’s give a shout out for Madison East proud graduate class of 1977, Mr. Bradley Whitford.

BRADLEY WHITFORD: When a governor gives huge tax breaks to corporate special interests that just paid for his campaign, and expects teachers, nurses and first responders to pay for them, he needs to know this will not stand! When Wisconsin workers offered a compromise on wages and benefits, but the Governor refuses to negotiate, he needs to know this will not stand! When a governor lacks the capacity for genuine leadership and instead uses his budget as a Trojan horse to deny American workers a seat at the table to negotiate their wages, benefits and safety, he needs to know this will not stand!

AMY GOODMAN: Voices of the Madison rally, the largest since the Vietnam War. Up to 100,000 people marched in Wisconsin’s capital on Saturday, protesting the anti-union bill of Scott Walker, the governor of Wisconsin. This is Democracy Now!, democracynow.org, The War and Peace Report. When we come back, we’ll speak with a Wisconsin State Assembly member who was with the protesters in the Capitol building last night when they refused to leave the building. And then we’re going to be going to Libya to hear from people there. This is Democracy Now! Back in a minute.

why vegan?

2011-02-28T11:34:00.001-08:00

Why vegan?

For the animals. For the environment. For your health.

“The global implications of the growth of the factory farm, especially given the problems of food-born illness, antimicrobial resistance, and potential pandemics, are genuinely terrifying...If the world follows America’s lead, it would consume over 165 billion chickens annually (even if the world population didn’t increase). And then what? Two hundred billion? Five hundred? Will the cages stack higher or grow smaller or both? On what date will we accept the loss of antibiotics as a tool to prevent human suffering? How many days of the week will our grandchildren be ill? Where does it end?”

Jonathan Safran Foer, Eating Animals, 2009.

"I just love bacon so much..."

2011-02-24T11:51:00.000-08:00

Yeah, well once upon a time I also used to the love bacon. In fact it was my very favorite for breakfast. I would determine where I would go out to eat based on the quality of their bacon.

Then I realized one day that in order for me to enjoy that food, Jumper would have to die. And He wouldn't just live a great life and then when he was old or sick he would be put out of his misery and we would eat him. He would be born and bred into a life of captivity, horribly abused and forced to live in absolutely atrocious living conditions. If he was lucky he would be killed quickly and early in his life but the reality is that he would suffer more then any animal should ever have to suffer so that we can have bacon for breakfast. And then I realized the connection and I mean truley realized that the food on my plate was once jumper. It had a mom and was at one point the cutest little guy ever and it absolutely broke my heat. In a big way.

So yeah, sure, I miss the taste of bacon to from time to time. But not even close to the amount of value that I put on jumpers life.

People like to make snide comments about vegan-ism and say things like "I could never live with out cheese or bacon". Or they make comments or will tease and taunt me while they eat their steak or hamburger. That breaks my heat too. The disconnect and the sense of entitlement that we have in regards to our place on this earth. The very same people who do this claim that they love animals and will rescue dogs from the shelter.

Please tell me the difference between this:
And this:

IM NOT DINNER!

2011-02-23T23:08:00.001-08:00

Check out my cuz shredding it over at the Islands...

2011-02-22T14:56:00.001-08:00

Join Tatiana Howard and Shawna Cropas sailing and surfing the islands from Tatiana Howard on Vimeo.

What gets you moving in the morning?

2011-02-12T10:17:00.001-08:00

For me, nothing beats a little quiet meditation followed by a little:

OR a couple years prior?:

This is too good not to share

2011-02-05T21:43:00.000-08:00

If you have 5 minutes, please take the time out to read this. It is something that I think is very very important.

What you didn't see on Oprah

I guess it is that time: Goals in Sport

2011-02-01T07:23:00.000-08:00

Well with the first race of the season under my belt I guess it is time to set some goals.

I have been thinking off and on about my cycling ambitions this year and really revisiting the time I spend training, to the rewards of those efforts, coupled with attempting to find balance in my family life as well.

I guess it make since to first revisit what lead to my cycling hiatus last year. I think If I am really honest I would say it would be San Dimas Stage Race. I came into that race off form, under trained and over confident. The cat 2 only part of the race mislead me slightly. I thought it would be easier then some of the P12 races. What ended up happening is EVERYONE and there Aunt May who were Cat 2's in southern (and even northern) California showed up in top form. There are not too many 2's only race and people were hungry for upgrade points. It was one of the hardest races I have ever done and I felt like I was giving 110 percent to just barely hang on. Add the heat and pollution to that and it was recipe for disaster. I still raced after that, but it was not too long before Blue Dog joined our family and it became much more convenient to run Blue then to ride...

At about the same time, Sailing season started to kick off and I began to get really into racing Harbor 20s.

Then came the added the bonus of all the other things that you are actually able to do when you are not training 16 to 20 hours a week.

All of these thing culminated in a long hiatus from cycling that has lasted pretty much up to now.

Prior to Mothballs I thought that I would keep running and Mountain biking and focus more of the dirt for this year. While I think that theme is going to be most congruent with my life Moth balls really fired me up and I now I am somewhat conflicted. There is nothing in the world like racing bicycles. I realized why when I started training for triathlons and raced my first bike race the running and swimming fell by the wayside... All I wanted to do was race road bikes...

I think the Overall goals for the 2011 season will be to regain my climbing fitness, race intermittently on the road when it is convenient for the family. I am not going to put too much pressure on myself to try to place or even do well (I know Doug Knox would call that "loser talk"). I am going to be realistic with the competition and realize that believe or not I still have have fun in the back of the pack as long I don't come with expectations and judgments. Also, there are some team mates who if racing I could help out, even if Im not in top form.

Next in line in the goal train is to completely and utterly dominant the cat2 Mountain bike so cal scene. What do you mean by complete domination? I mean win every single mountain bike race I enter including the state championships? How might I accomplish this goal? Unleash the furry of a thousand raging bulls, and use special vegan super powers. That and regain roadie climbing fitness so that even though I descend like a grandma I will be riding uphill at 14:48 OSM pace...

The 4th goal (or even 3rd or 2nd depending on how you count) will be to continue to run trails and race an Ultra. I had a lot of talk about racing an ultra marathon last year, but because of intermittent foot problems and fear I never just went for it. Well this year I am going to do it. I have the fitness, enough excuses.

The 5th goal (or 3rd or 4th) will be to continue to race sail boats and establish our boat as a serious competitor in a ridiculously competitive fleet. The top sailors in Santa Barbara race the H2o class and as our fleet continues to grow so does the competition. Sailing is a very important part of my sporting goals. I grew up and even spent the first couple of months of my life living on a sail boats. We were always sailing as a kid and I feel very connected with my roots when I am on the water. There is something incredibly serene and humbling about sailing. I derive great pleasure from it in a different way then I do cycling or running. Also, my goals in sailing do not require me to train 20 hours a week. In fact they don't require me to train at all. I just show up and race. Every time I go out I learn so much. It has been great fun and I hope to continue that through out the season. Also if I could talk the little lady into learning how to sail it could be a sport that in inclusive of her as well.

Well that's about it on the Goals in Sport segment. On a daily basis I set goals and aspirations every single day in my personal life of what type of man/ friend/ husband/ Employee/ etc I want to be that day. Then every evening I review and asses and see what I need to do better. I think I have changed little by slowly, but still have a long way to go. I hope to continue to develop my meditation practice and continue to build my relationship with Caitlin, who is absolutely my best friend. We are all so fortunate to get the opportunity to be human with consciousness. It is not a gift that should go wasted.

May you all have a wonderfully content 2011 in whatever you do, or where ever you are.

When the mind is involved with the world, it's bound to meet with collisions; and once it collides, it will be shaken and roll back and forth, just as round stones in a large pile roll back and forth. So no matter how good or bad other people may be, we don't store it up in our mind to give rise to feelings of like or dislike. Dismiss it completely as being their business and none of ours.
-Ajaan Lee

OH, so thats why I race bicycles! AKA Mothballs P12 race was a hoot!

2011-01-31T08:01:00.001-08:00

So its no secret that my cycling form has seen better days. But it is really hard not to show up to a local race regardless of my form. Even If my form was lacking the fun factor was not. The race was fast and very difficult for me, despite the fact that I sucked wheels in the back for practically the entire race (hanging on for dear life for most of the race).

I wish this could be more of a race report but when you in the back of a field of over 100 guys it is very difficult to keep tabs on what was going on in the front. All I can say for certain is I took a lap on the front trying my best to motivate a field to chase a break that was absent of Platinum riders. I nearly got dropped afterward but I held on and actually felt better for the effort. I got gapped out in the last lap and had no jump to get back in the draft so I peddled in solo a couple seconds behind the group, but I finished the race and am stronger for it.

I am not sure how the rest of the platinum boys did. Most of them were pretty tired from having already raced 2 or 3 previous races.

The whole thing was very reminiscent of my first bike race for some reason. Even though It was not particularly exciting and I did not have the legs to mix it up in the front I had a ridiculously amount of fun. The best part was Caitlin on the sidelines cheering me on. I would say because of our schedules she has probably only been to a half dozen bike races that I have done. Things are better with the family there and the motivation factor is as high as its ever been.

A different perspective on the Lance Armstrong Drug Saga

2011-01-24T08:56:00.001-08:00

2011-01-17T08:17:00.001-08:00

Number of days...

2011-01-13T11:42:00.000-08:00

Number of days I have had this bad boy....

Number of days I have spent Mountain biking over the last 4 days...

ALLLL - RIGHT! Bring on the Nar Nar

Lets just say that José Antonio Hermida Ramos should watch his back...

Potential

2011-01-08T11:00:00.000-08:00

Potential:

True happiness

2011-01-07T07:29:00.000-08:00

How many people do you know in your life who you believe are truly happy.

Think about it for a moment. Do feel like you are truly happy? If not, why? What do you think it would take for you to be happy and content? What are you lacking at this moment?

These questions may seem trite but how often do you honestly pause to make this objective assessment?

I know many many many people and very few of them I would consider to be truly happy. True happiness comes from inside and is completely independent and separate from outside phenomena. I really have only two tools. My body that is here living (breathing, circulating blood, growing toenails, digesting food, keeping me alive etc...) and my mind here thinking (usually dwelling in the past or projecting in the future constantly forming resentments and fear on the basis of expectation and judgment).

I think many people, especially that I know suffer from the not enough-its. If I only had this I would be happy, If I only looked like that, if I only didn't have this condition, if he would only behave like that, if she could only realize this, etc etc etc. It is not surprising that so many people think this way considering how much we are exposed to this condition. You are what you fill yourself up with and it seems like in the world of corporate media we are under constant bombardment.

There are many different ways out from under this and probably as many paths to true happiness as there are human beings. But when I think about how many organisms there are on this planet and what small percentage are humans beings I get filled with a sense of gratitude. I mean how unlikely is it that circumstances came together to bring me into this world with this amazing sense of consciousness and mind? Pretty amazing when you think about it. With the potential that we all have as humans it is amazing how efficient we are at wasting and squandering those gifts. It seems to be what we excel at.

If you honestly ask yourself the question are you happy everyday, and honestly seek the answer to what it would take for you to be truly happy I think you stand a chance. After all, there are those who tell us that we already have everything we need to be happy: Our bodies here breathing and our minds here thinking. We already have these things. We have them right now at this very moment. They may not be in the same place but we already have everything we need.

Today I will try to align my body and mind in the same place. Today I will ask myself what I need to find true happiness? What do I need to change about myself today to find true happiness? Where do I find the power to change? Today I will investigate my thinking mind. Today I will act with purpose. Today I will be mindful and ardent. Today I will be peace.

Every Morning. Every Evening

2010-12-23T07:33:00.000-08:00

Every morning when the Sun rises I tell myself:
This could be my last sunrise. I could die today. Am I ready? No, Why not... what do I need to change today.

Every evening when the sun sets I tell myself that this could be the last sunset. I could die tonight. Am I ready to go? No. Why not... What do I need to do in order to be prepared.

People hardly ever know when they are going to die. People unexpectedly die all the time. How would you feel if you died today? Would you be ready? What do you need to do in order to be ready? What do you need to change about yourself?

There is an adage that goes there is a blind turtle swimming in the ocean and on the surface floats a piece of drift wood with a small hole. The changes of that blind turtle surfacing and sticking its little head through that hole are about the same as the chances of being human. It is a very fortunate gift to have the consensus that we have. Yet how many people you know who utterly squander that gift? I know that I am certainly one. How much of the day do I spend thinking about the past or projecting into the future? How much of the day do I spend in judgment? How much time do I spend engaging in mindless chatter? How much of the day do I spend catering to the ego? How much of the day do I spend trying to make plans so that things go my way? I must admit that if my brain was projected on a movie screen I would be embarrassed.

True happiness can be find right here right now with what we have.

So lets take stock, what do we have? I know that I have my body breathing and my mind thinking.

I believe the first step towards true happiness lies in trying to make sure that my resources are working together. I want to try to align my mind and my body and make sure that they are in the same place working together.

Where do you seek for true happiness? What is standing in the way? Would it still be in the way if you knew you were going to die today?

Birke Baehr: Whats wrong with our food from TED.COM

2010-12-19T16:50:00.001-08:00

OH YEAH....

2010-11-11T07:25:00.001-08:00

You May ask yourself...

And you may find:

http://marcofanelli.blogspot.com/

Welcome back Marco, I'm sure productivity amongst the cycling community's employers just dropped 2.3 percent.

The Lance Armstrong Saga OR someone tell the FDA To get a life

2010-11-04T07:13:00.000-07:00

The following is an excerpt from VeloNews:

Fabiani said he was reluctant to comment on the case, but offered an observation he’s shared with others in the media, noting that Novitzky, a former IRS investigator, is now employed by the criminal division of the FDA.
“At a time when salmonella is forcing the recall of 380 million eggs, we’re all scratching our heads trying to figure out why the FDA is paying for a multi-million dollar fishing expedition, based on the word of the disgraced Floyd Landis, into international cycling events that occurred years ago,” he noted.

If you are a tax payer I would be asking yourself the same question. Who gives a damn what Floyd has to say.

Any body who understands the sport of professional cycling and has done even the smallest bit of research knows that no one was clean during the late 90's early 2000's. If you really want to learn more about doping in professional cycling check out From Lance to Landis
Or read the biography of legendary The Death of Marco Pantani
. It will shed some light on an otherwise widely misunderstood subject. Or you could just go out and donate some blood and then try to perform what you would consider to be a normal cardio activity for you. Note the results, then imagine it in reverse. Cycling is a blood sport and the gains from EPO or Homo genius blood doping are not joke, especially in the elite level where even 1% is the difference between hero and pack fodder.

I am not here to so say that it is right or that I agree with it, but was the way of things. I see no sense in drudging this up based of Floyd's testimony. Furthermore, the fact the we as tax payers are footing the bill for this and FDA is leading the charge? Give me a freaking break. Don't those clowns have some hobnobbing and kick backing to recieve from BIG MEAT and DAIRY. Or shouldn't they be busy planning more add campaigns to tell us how important dairy and meat are to our daily food consumption
. Or try to allow Pharmaceutical companies
to begin to targeting an even younger audience with their drug campaigns. Or for the love of god to something that actually has to do with the well beings of the people of the country rather then special interest groups in Washington?

I digress, but it seems to me the FDA should have a million and one more important things to do and should be spending their money actually trying to protect the citizens they serve rather then chasing an almost retired bike racer for alleged doping based on the allegations of a looser.

Wake up and smell the Folgers.

Base training

2010-11-03T14:41:00.001-07:00

Starts in 5...
4...
3...
2...
1...

Cat 1 in no time.

More injuries...

2010-10-25T10:42:00.000-07:00

Suffered a really really bad sprain on my left big toe last week. I was convinced it was broken so I went in for X-rays. As it turns out it was just sprained really bad. Needless to say I have been out of commission for some time now. Could be a sign to rest.

So I am going to heed the messages my body is sending, slow down a tad, and rest...

A good Read

2010-10-06T07:53:00.000-07:00

A whole bunch of " A " list bloggers and authors that I read have gotten together and are selling a compilation of all their E_Books for support of http://www.kiva.org/, at a pretty low price. A good majority of the proceeds collected will be donated to KIVA. If you enjoy western practical applications of Zen and Minimalism then these reads might be for you.

Check it out if your so inclined:

Click here to view more details

An effective way to bring about change

2010-10-05T09:26:00.000-07:00

This blog post is a result of a discussion I had with my father over the reality of what is behind the food that we eat. I was speaking on how far reaching the disconnect is between people and the food they eat. I generally find that most people do not want to know the true price (economic, ethical, and environmental) of the food that they eat. I know when I was eating meat, never once did I stop to think about the feelings of the animals I was eating, or the reaching devastation that big industrial feed lots and industrial agriculture had on the environment.

I suspect that there was a lurking notion in the back of my mind that would ceep into the forefront of my thought from time to time based on brief conversations I had with people or articles I had read. But the majority of my nutritional information came from my childhood and what I learned and read in school and popular exercise magazines. But whatever notion I had it was far from a prominent thought. It simply was not a part of my life.

This is a major problem. Why wouldn't it be important where my food came from? Why would this not be something that was taught and impressed upon me from an early age. Food and water are absolutely vital to life. With out either, life ends. I spent the majority of my life completely disconnected from that which is the building block of absolutely everything. Remember the saying, "You are what you eat?" I sure do. I remember learning that in a 7th grade science class. I never questioned that. It made sense to me and seamed logical.

There is nothing OK about all the antibiotics and growth hormones and torture and GMO seeds.

The question I get all the time is "Isn't it hard to be Vegan?". I would say if you are going vegan for personal health reasons, then yes it is very hard and inconvenient and there are probably easier ways to eat just as healthy.
However, if your reasons for going vegan are because you became aware of the true price that is paid for your meat and you choose to connect with that fact and turn towards that suffering and could not in good conscious continue to be so mindless then the decision is effortless.

The problem that I often face and struggle with is that while I am very passionate about a lot of things in my life I am often very unskillful in transmitting that passion. The first time I quit smoking (Yes, the first- It has not been 4+ years since I have had a smoke) I was an avid crusader against smoking. I chastised my friends and denounced such a gross and disgusting habit... Very unskillful. And of course when I started smoking again a couple weeks or sometimes days later my words slowly began to loose power because of my lack of action.
Once I started cycling and running and I would rally groups of my friends to join me only to take them on far longer/ harder work outs then they were capable leaving them with a bad taste in their mouth and wanting nothing to do with my companionship in exercise...again, very unskillful.

While my father and I were speaking he was telling that he did not want to hear about it. I began to be more and more frustrated with the disconnect and was trying to point out that people need to at least know the facts before they make a decision or else it really is not a choice, just another lazy apathetic action based solely out of habit and self. He calmly told me at one point that I reminded him of certain religious persons who try to force their views on others. I understand what that feels like... Very unskillful.

I immediately realized that this was neither the time and the place for this conversation.

No doubt one of the greatest spiritual teachings that I have been imparted to me was in the form of "oh yeah, your that guy who thinks he special. Why don't you sit down and shut up and listen to some people who have some actual experience"... More Skillful

The lesson there is that the best way to lead is by example and often times our rewards and "passions for crusade" only serve to further peoples prejudice. The 'ol talk less, do more. Those who know me, know I have a Loooooong way to go in this area. But it is not a race

There is the saying that goes when the teacher is ready the master will appear.

There are Buddhist Monks who on their journey down the 8 fold path will not take something that is not offered. They extrapolate this even to the point of not picking up and reading a book on a friends coffee table because that book does not belong to them and it was not "offered". Perhaps when we crusade for reform we are "taking peoples time" when they do not offer it.

The Dalai Lama talks often about only teaching to those who ask to receive the teachings..

That seems to be a much more skillful way to approach this area of life. Lead by example. When it all boils down to it, the rest it just ego anyhow.

What are you passionate about? What are the ways that you bring attempt to bring about change in this world? What do you struggle with? Where do you have the most to grow?

One Design Regatta...

2010-09-25T22:18:00.001-07:00

The One Design sailing regatta this past Saturday was pretty awesome.

Nice square lines, a reasonably full fleet, and more then one shot. We raced four races in total and ended up third overall with a 5th place, 3rd place, 1st place, and 4th place. Which was good enough for a 3rd overall. Good enough for a medal.

The best thing was an opportunity to practice and gain skill. Unlike the wed races where you only get one shot to get it right, a regatta allows for more experimental tactics. True to form I had some brilliant races and some abominable races. I am going to have to gain some consistency in my racing.

The Sunday after I headed out and crewed for another friend who was going to single hand in a CHRF event. We ended up first with a cushion of several minutes. At this point every sail is a powerful learning experience and an opportunity to harness greater skill.

My Dad came out and raced with us on Tachy too this Wed and it was more of the same. Came from nearly last place at the first weather mark to second by the second weather mark but then were past twice on our run to the line. We could not quite get our speed up to par.

The running is on the back burner as I let an injury to the outside of my right foot heal up some. I was suppose to race a 50 miler next week but I will probably have to push that back for at least a month while I let my foot heal. In the mean time Im STOKED ON CROSS and looking forward to some fun cycle cross action.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

~ Rumi ~

FEAR

2010-09-23T22:01:00.000-07:00

Please note this is not a Gory video in the slightest. There is no massive slaughter or bloodshed. Only fear. I ask if this is how you would want your dog or house pet to spend the last few minutes of his or her life and take a moment to realize that the greatest change and impact we can have in the world is by the actions we take on a daily basis.

training blah blah blah

2010-09-18T16:15:00.000-07:00

Today I did a 3 hour training run on some of the front side trails of Santa Barbara. We started on Romero single track, then quickly cut over and traversed the front side canyons until we tied into cold springs. We then ran up cold springs and over across the top of the ridge and then back down Romero fire road. It was pretty hot once we climbed out of the fog and I was definitely feeling the work out when I got back down to the car.

I think the run time was right around 3 hours give or take a little.

Following the run I headed down to LA to get my head shots re done and then visit with the in-laws. We had a great dinner followed by a good old fashion game of Bananagrams. Very similar to scrabble and a whole heck of a lot of fun. It is a perfect after dinner game and also makes a great gift.

Sunday I took it easy and ran an hour on the beach and around Elings park, followed by "Lady at the helm" regatta. It was a good time and our boat skippered by Anne Hutchings crossed the line 4th over all. It was a CHRF race which meant that we were racing against every type of boat imaginable. The start was staggered according to handicap. The Tachy fleet ported ourselves very nicely and a grand time was had by all.

On the horizon is my first 50 miler which will be up in the bay area on October 9th. While Ben and I were running on Sunday there was a guy who was also training for this race. He was just starting his taper and Ben and I were just starting are training... Hmmmm. I hope it all works out OK.

I will keep you posted on training as I progress and any gear that I find particularly helpful. As it stands right now I am a little bit nervous and apprehensive, but also exhited and anticipatory.

CA state championships at Bonnelli Park

2010-09-14T13:42:00.001-07:00

With the passing of my Grandma I was back down in Palm Springs to hang out with my family this past weekend and just sort of be around to support, distract, bond, do whatever was needed. I had a great time as always. I think it is a very nice gift that the deceased often give by bringing families and friends closer over the period after their passing. I know while I miss my Grandma I also certainly appreciate all the extra time I was able to spend with my other family. I remember having the same feeling when my Dad's mom passed away.

But as it turns out I was situated to race the CA state and US Cup Championships.

The following is a brief description was Platinum Performance Rider Todd Booth about the course:

The California State Championship along with the US Cup Unification Championship were combined at the one day “winner takes all” at Bonelli Park on Sept 12th. Having the race scheduled in early September at 2pm means one thing….hot temperatures!!!! The racers were not disappointed with the temps reaching in the high 80’s. The course was a UCI format with short laps, very rocky, technical descents and steep, punchy climbs. I won't bore you with a play by play just a few of the pertinent details and a few lessons that I was able to extract from the whole ordeal.

Thanks to the Generosity of Team mate and all around Mtn Bike/ X-bike/ Motto X stuff Bobby Langin Sr (yes the the same bobby from LANGTOWN, USA ) I was equipped with a 'top of the line" specialized all terrain WMD on which to compete.

I was forced to sell my Mountain Bike about 2 years ago. The bikes were over taking the kitchen in our small apartment and the Wife said enough it enough. Because of my budding interest in road cycling the decision to sell the Mountain bike was an easy one.

I crawl downhill and when I say crawl I mean CRAWL, I am fairly certain that I can climb a technical hill faster then I can descend. So the plan was to explode out of the gate and hit the first punchy climb first so as to be able to gain enough time on the first climb to not get passed on the descent. The plan went off with out a hitch and I was able to build a lead of a couple minutes on the first lap. But the stuff hit the fan during the second lap, when I flatted just after the flat jaunt through the parking lot.... A flat... Dang I thought. I was pretty upset and frustrated. I had a c02 and spare tube but I did not have a tire iron and I had no clue what to expect trying to put a tube into a tubeless set up. At this point I just started running with my bike... There was a fairly long hill to climb and I was in pretty good running shape so I just sprinted with everything I had in me. Then I got to the top of the hill and ran down (which to be quite honest was probably faster then I could have ridden down). At the bottom of the hill there was a guy taking pictures who had a tire Iron and I got to work... It took me quite a while to change the tire but eventually I got it as the guys kept passing me. There were quite a few who were not in my age group but it is really hard to keep them all straight. I got back on my bike and I just rode as hard as I possible could for the rest of the race. Turns out it was hard enough to win. I was certain there was still a rider ahead of me but he must have flatted and pulled out of the race... Cat 3 25-29 State and Unification Champion.

Some Observations as I see them:

1) The vibe at Mountain Bike events is AWESOME. I can not even tell you how awesome it is to be passing someone and actually have them cheer you on with "right on man, your killing it". I am trying to imagine bridging to the break or attacking and having someone offer up words of encouragement... Normally in road cycling they just chop your wheel in the turn around try to ride you off the road.

2) I noticed a TON of families out at these events together. Must more so then road events. A lot of kids were floating around and people were really making a day of it.

3) Never ever give up... ever. I really wanted to pull out when I flatted. I wanted to give up, throw in the towel and re-enforce the fact that mountain bike races suck big time I hate bicycles, I want to jump off a bridge, yada yada yada yada. Technicals are big time bummer. There is no doubt about that and I certainly have had my fair share of DNF's as a result of equipment failure. But there is a big difference between a side wall blow out or a broken derailuer and a flat. I saw A guy run through the finish with his bike. AWESOME. That is the kind of experience that defines and enriches your character, not whether or not you win.

4) I am really excited to race some cycle cross and more mountain bike events next year. It is a lot of fun more family and spectator freindly.

I am starting to find a little more Yin to balance out the abundant Yang and just like racing sail boats: the more even the keel, the flatter the boat, the faster your speed and the straighter your course.

Say something that matters:

2010-09-08T14:33:00.001-07:00

Something that Matters: STOP BUYING STUPID CRAP THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING

Something else that Matters: MAY MY ACTIONS SPEAK SO LOUD THAT YOU DON'T HEAR A WORD I SAY

My Grandmother recently passed away. Helen Volpe was her name and she was a lady of action who practiced rather then preached. She believed that everyone could make a difference by changing the way we live our life on a daily basis. She was constantly challenging my sister and I to "Risk a R.A.S.K". Random Act of Senseless Kindness.

Today I will contribute to the world and try to leave it in slightly better shape then when I found it. Today I will remember that I share this planet with thousands of other living species who have every much right to live a peaceful life as I. Today I will seek to perform an unprovoked act of random kindness on a stranger. Today I will remember that the present moment is where I find my lived experience.

Love is expansive, and cultivating compassion towards all beings is a very skillful way to experience life.

May we all be mindful of our actions today and seek to cultivate peace by aligning our actions and our values.
------
I think that I am going to run Mt San Jacinto. 10,000 feet elevation gain over about 12 miles... Should be pretty epic.
I am also racing Mtn Bike State championships on Monday down in San Dimas.
Training has been progressing nicely and It seems like my right foot injury has subsided so I am back in the game for now... I have added a considerable amount of yoga to my training as of late and I have really been noticing the difference. It is hard to argue with personal experience.

Be good.

I used to be smart? Or 5 lessons I learned while stupidly stumbling my way through math that I learned in middle school

2010-08-30T17:43:00.000-07:00

Man... Last night I spent about 6 hours on my homework. I had a terrible time staying focused and the subject matter was particularly challenging and frustrating.

The frustrating part came about because I could vaguely remember knowing easier way to solve the problems I was working on and patterns that I should be recognizing, but just could not.

Out of my frustration came an immense excitement about taking this class and the opportunity to really learn something new and exercise my brain in way it has not been exercised in quite a while.

Lesson #1) Food and rest is important.
I was going on 3 hours straight and things were not going so well. I was beginning to get frustrated, having a hard time staying focus, and time was quickly becoming very inefficient. It was almost like my brain just completely shut down. I was not processing any information and was not making any headway. My wife showed up just about at that time and we went out for a quick bite to eat. At first I was apprehensive and wasn't sure I should be taking a break until I had either accomplished more or finished all together. Pretty soon thanks to a little coaxing on her part I realized that was crazy talk. We had a wonderful dinner stocked full of fresh local veggies and good conversation. When I returned to the work, problems that were leading me into utter despair I was able to skillfully navigate. I am certain that this is pretty big problem in my life. It is very common for me to get consumed with work and other commitments to not take the time to really recharge and refuel. Its funny how you can't really BS your way through math.

Lesson #2) Attention to Detail.
I scored a 47 percent on my first quiz. Not because I did not conceptually understand the subject matter being testing. I absolutely did, however on more then half of the problems I had small errors that lead to an incorrect solution. With out details what is there? Typically in my life I have had problem with attention to detail. I would say that 90 percent of my former employers would agree. This problem extrapolates to many areas of my life and I think at its root is lack of presence. When I am fully commited to my lived experience in this moment errors like this tend to happen to a far lessor degree. However, when my mind and my body are in two seperate places errors like occured on my Math test abound. Its amusing to think about how little time we actually spend in the moment or trying to stay present and concentrated. It would seem that we would want to be here now, but it is so easy to drift...

Lesson#3 Judgment.
My ego is tied in with nearly everything I do and how I do it. The first thing I notice is how hard it is for me to tell people I am taking intermediate college algebra and just let what is be what it. When asked what class I am taking this semmester I tend to have to justify and back story what lead me to taking intermediate algebra and it normally starts with... "Well I took calculus in college, but it has been so long..." yada yada yada. The facts are simple and do not require a back story of any kind. These realizations really have made to look at how I defined my self worth when I was younger and how I still try to define it now. It is really refreshing to notice patterns where the ego is attempting to assert itself and then very comforting to try to soften those places where the ego is strong.

Lesson#4 Expectations.
Judgment and Expectations really fall hand in hand. They form a simbiatic relationship and when one softens, so does the other. I have a lot of expectations with what I should know. About an hour or so into my epic homework session the other night I began to be terrible frusterated as I was failing to live up to my expectations that I should be flying through the homework with swift skill and ease. It has been 8 years since I have succesfully taken any kind of math and those expectations are completley unrealistic. Not only that though, they also produce a great amount of suffering. Not just with Algebra but in all areas of my life. Expectations are resentments in the making. Whose to say what and how things should be? They are whatever they are and projections of my mind will have little controll over that. Whats more is expectations actually inhibit my ability to skillfully nagivate circumstances where things do not turn out how I think they should.

Lesson#5 procrastination... what?
I should probbaly mention that the whole reason for the epic marathon homework session/ lack of concentration/ hungry poor performance etc etc etc was because I was attempting to do a weeks worth of work the night everything was due. Some times it is really hard to change unless the pain of our current actions facilitates it. In other words, the real motivating factor behind change is pain. At least that has been my own experience. I am going to #5 at that for now, but I am certain it will arise again.

Be good.